Typepad Refugees

Where Even the Crazy are given Credence

2007-04-03T17:08:00.000-02:00

There is a nut job named Fred W. Phelps. Maybe you’ve heard of him. Mr. Phelps calls himself a reverend; though I think his only connection with Christ would be similar to that of the Kane character in Poltergeist 2. The man, to put it succinctly, is a carbuncle on the ass of life. He and his tiny crowd of dentally challenged, venom spewing ‘church’ members attack the families of fallen soldiers – haunting their graves like ghouls – feeding on misery. I always thought the publicity he got was for the zoo value (what's that monkey doing, mommy?). But seriously - is this guy a ‘fade away into obscurity’ wierdsmobile, or an – ‘oh no, it’s Waco’ type? I’m afraid the latter - and I’ll tell you why. It has to do with evolution; the evolution of violence and how that manifests itself within the confines of a twisted mind. But I’m getting ahead of myself. First let me catch you up on what our Mr. Phelps has been doing of late. Oh – you’re gonna love this. It’s a real doozy.

Phelps has taken on the country of Sweden. You heard me right – Sweden: as in lutefisk, fjords and ABBA - saving his most virulent rhetoric for the Swedish royal family. He even has a website dedicated to this latest obsession – “God Hates Sweden”. Hear any Twilight Zone music in the background? I do. This story evokes that old adage, “Only in America”; because only in America is this brand of insanity actually encouraged. I mean – think about what Phelps has to say in general. First, he operates a website called, “God Hates Fags”. That’s bad enough; but now it seems god hates Swedish people too (at least according to Phelps). Wow - I cannot even begin to answer such rampant stupidity. You all know that bat-boy here is certifiable – right? Yet he’s often been given a national platform from which to spew his insane and violent ramblings (though not recently, I’m happy to say). Most agree that what he says is past offensive (that’s a given); but the way that he says it (especially lately) touches upon an even deeper problem, in my mind. Phelps parrots what can loosely be called ‘his betters’ – Falwell, Dobson. Each of them has said similar things. Well – maybe not called down a jihad against Sweden. That particular perversion is uniquely Phelpian – but the ‘moral majority’ hates homosexuals with the kinds of fervor usually attributed to Inquisition torturers. But Phelps – Phelps takes what other, more ‘mainstream’ religio-fanatics say and makes their fantasies real.

How does he do this? By acting upon his beliefs. Where Falwell might sit in a chair and opine that, in his narrow view of the world, god does indeed hate homosexuals – Phelps feels the need to get out of that chair and take his hatred into the streets. He and his merry band have been known to assault people with their home-made (and badly spelled) signage. If you watch video of the man – you can see his jaw clenched and his hands twitching. He can barely restrain himself from strangling whoever it is disagreeing. I half expect to see Will Sampson out there, medicine bag in hand, chanting away. Only Phelps isn’t likely to dissolve into the rock leaving a gooey skeleton behind. No amount of prayer will banish this poltergeist – he’s in it for the long haul. And that scares me, folks. Why? Because it has become OK to act out violent fantasies in America these days. Twenty-odd years ago Phelps behaviors would not have even been tolerated. Take a look at how society as a whole marginalized the KKK as a primer. They had all but faded into the woodwork – and then the neocon take-over of America occurred and all bets were off. The ‘talk’ quotient ratcheted itself up. I won’t waste your time tracking this – but there’s a clear line between bellicose bellyaching and ‘lets all go burn down the castle’.

Enter Phelps into the latter phase. He looks around and sees his betters coddled and promoted by the mainstream media. A light bulb briefly brightens that sewer he calls a mind. I can get away with this, he thinks. It’s allowed. I can say anything I damn well please – especially against homosexuals, the neocon substitution for Jews in Nazi Germany. Think Phelps is too nutty to either attract or personally promote actual acts of violence? May I once again draw your attention to my KKK analogy? Twenty years ago I thought they were merely cartoon figures milling about smartly within the confines of my TV. Then they staged a march right down the middle of my street, and I discovered different. Right now all Phelps does is send filthy faxes and bash the occasional anti-protestor on the head with a sign. I’m afraid that will change – especially as he is now garnering more media attention with this Sweden thing.

How do I suggest we respond to Phelps? Well – watching him like a hawk would be a nice start. Not taking him on in any forum for discussion is another. The man loves to make Coulter-worthy charges. The mere act of answering such base and scurrilous accusations lends them credence (visual media please take note). All one person has to do is respond, and it immediately grants legitimacy to the attacker AND their inflammatory statements. You see - if you begin to explain why something is, or is not - you have already lost the debate. This man has carved out a bully pulpit by the sheer dint of his delusion-laden rhetoric. Attacks of the sort Phelps indulges in are driven by fear, or, as is more likely, prompted by some kind of clinical insanity. If fear - then his fear comes from a lack of certitude – about himself, his beliefs - the very existence of a soul. This lack of certitude lies at the core of Falwell and Dobson’s venom as well, in my opinion. Such overkill usually means that somewhere, deep inside, that person is mortally afraid. Perhaps, just perhaps, their truth may not stand alone in its righteousness. Maybe their gods aren’t the only gods – and folks - that can be a really scary thought to someone desperate to convince himself that heaven takes appointments.

In addition - let us not forget the very real possibility of true mental imbalance here. Fred Phelps may rightly be full-goose bozo. That, in my opinion, is what makes this man truly frightening. And because he cloaks his instability in religious euphemisms, the powers that be (hello FBI!) are ignoring what could be a very real danger. Brutal words lead to vicious action - as has been proved time and time again, throughout recorded history. Violence may indeed be the last resort of the feeble-minded, but it is always the first choice for any who believe they personally have replaced God. Anyone in this mans crosshairs had better damn well watch their back.

(Cross-posted in all the usual places; and Hat-tip Mustang Bobby of Bark, Bark, Woof, Woof and Shakesville for the Swedish connection!)

Ohio Bound

2007-03-12T15:01:00.000-02:00

We can change the world -
Re-arrange the world

Prophetic, that. It’s as if Graham Nash had a window into the future – a window of hope. I wasn’t old enough back then to participate in those changes – but I was aware of them – of what human beings can do when sufficiently motivated. Those who saved the world from Hitler may have been the greatest generation – but those who Graham Nash called to arms were its most prescient. They opened their eyes, looked at their world, saw the potential for utter devastation and cried out in a single voice, HOLD! ENOUGH! We will not walk down that path into darkness. Mordor will not win the day. We chose the light. And so the world changed.

You see – I believe it IS possible to change the world – right here, right now. Why? Because I believe. That may sound simplistic – but it is not. Belief is the first step towards any change. Belief in salvation is essential – without it, no change is even practicable. And what exactly do I believe? I believe that we as a people really CAN transform America. All it takes is the commitment to do so.

Well I have found my commitment – my cause célèbre. I am so excited to finally tell you - I have agreed to serve as Creative Media Director for our own Kelley Wenzlaff and her campaign to win a seat in the Ohio State Legislature. Kelley’s motto is Mom for the House – the Ohio State House, that is. Come January of 2009 she plans to be sworn in as the first Democratic woman elected by the people of Delaware County – and by gum, it’s my job to see that she gets there!

No – this is not about being senator or president; but we will speak to national issues. Washington isn’t the only place where laws that affect America become enacted, you know. If you think states have little to do with which way our country blows – I ask you to consider South Dakota. Kelley did. She became energized when asked to testify before the Ohio Legislature on behalf of a woman’s right to choose. Ohio was teetering on the edge of madness – sentencing a woman to hell should she ever become the victim of rape or incest. Kelley soon realized in order to make any substantive difference she had to be in a position to influence those laws. I could not agree more. This is a soapbox issue for me. Before you can change America proper, you have to try changing your own neighborhood first.

So - this is where I’ve been all these weeks – where all my energies, thoughts and passions have been directed. This is why my postings have been a mite sparse; why I haven’t been adding my two cents to any of your blogs. Don’t think I haven’t been reading them through, though; listening, learning – following lines of thought, mulling over attitudes and ideas. And not just from the women; though the core of Kelley’s campaign is about women finding and using their voice. All women, by the way. We are quite ecumenical in that respect. We stand for a woman’s right to be where and do whatsoever she so chooses. After all - a woman’s place IS in the House – the House of Representatives that is; and boy howdy are we planning on arriving there in style! Welcome, my friends to the Elect Kelly Kelley Wenzlaff – “Mom” for the House! Campaign.

Want to help? You can right now. We are brainstorming ideas for the perfect M.O.M. acronym. Don’t be shy - send us your ideas. Together we form such a creative group - I am sure we can come up with a real zinger if you all pitch in to help. Any and all opinions or suggestions will be gratefully received. You see – Kelley is only getting minimal help from the Ohio Democratic Party – and I mean this both logistically and financially. She is, for all intents and purposes, essentially on her own. They may step in at the very end and offer up some money for commercials – but we’ve been told not to count on it. It’s not that they don’t support her; they just don’t have the resources to attack such a staunch Republican stronghold. We have done the research however - and we know we can get the votes IF we can find a creative way to get her message out. So talk about our campaign to your friends. Relay information. Post about it and link to the website: Mom for the House. Give her a holler by sending a dollar! SPREAD THE WORD! We need publicity and lots of it.

Only 15% of the elected officials in The Ohio Legislature are women, and the numbers are similar all over the country. If we stand together, we can change that - right here, and right now. Kelley has said, “I respect women who claim to cast their votes on issues, not gender. I feel the same way, but really, is it possible only 15% of women candidates are worthy of their vote? Clearly, there are other forces at play. We must find a way to unite women’s voices and values. Women must be heard in the legislature. The health of our democracy depends on it.”

I have written much more about this and my involvement with Kelley’s campaign over at The Fat Lady Sings. Please stop by and let me know what you all think about this. We CAN change the world, you know. And we WILL re-arrange it. We will do it by inspiring women all over this country to embrace our democracy on the local, State and Federal level. So hold on to your hats, my friends. That rumble you hear in the distance is the Mom for the House tornado – and it is going to lift you up as we storm the gates!

Refugees FC

2007-01-11T20:21:00.000-02:00

This winter I will be playing on an intramural soccer team humbly named "The Refugees".

My only hope is that we do not suck as badly as Typepad.

Karr TV

2006-09-01T02:50:00.000-02:00

JonBenet Ramsey. I find the media's obsession with this case bordering on pornographic. Every damn day for the last two weeks whenever I’d try and listen for real news I have been force-fed reality-show details of John Mark Karr's sleazy pedophilic life. By the way - notice that they always use all three names whenever referring to him? John Mark Karr. As if he's already been granted celebrity status. And for all intents and purposes - he has. His family hired an entertainment lawyer – did you know that? Wanted to make sure they squeezed every damn dime out of the situation. Now they are making noises about suing the Colorado DA – because their ‘good’ name was dragged through the mud! Their ‘good’ name – what a fucking joke! Keep in mind - this same family sold pictures and video tapes of Karr to any and every news outlet and yellow-sheet rag that would pony up enough cash. And did those round-the-clocker’s eat that shit up! They mainlined it – jabbering on about light fixtures and underpants as if each new item were the Holy Grail. Now that Karr’s been uncovered for the slimy fraud that he is – the sharks are circling – taking a bite out of anything that moves, disappointed to be deprived of their anticipated frenzy.

What to do now with all the carefully edited research, photoshopped pictures and suitably breathless blonds? All that prep time wasted. And time really is money in the media biz. So – they are desperate to keep it alive – and one way to do that is to shift the blame. I heard one of those shaggy blonds talking to Patsy Ramsey’s sister this morning – doing her level best to re-focus the blame for JonBenet‘s death back onto the family. This bimbet actually implied that the Ramsey family was somehow complicit in foisting Karr off on the DA’s office. The balls on that bitch! When that didn’t work – she dredged up ten year old baseless accusations – anything to get Patsy’s sister to bite. It was shameless. Other equally deprived talking heads spent their morning attempting to whip up frenzy over the DA’s supposed ‘incompetence’ – putting it on a political footing. They had Colorado’s governor to help with that. Hey – gotta make those political points! Who cares if it’s off the back of a dead six year old. What took the cake though – was MSNBC’s fruitless efforts to continue convicting Karr in the court of public opinion – trying to get their stable of ‘experts’ to say that DNA evidence wasn’t really crucial to the case. That Karr could still be prosecuted for the crime. Please. The bastard didn’t do it. Get over it and move on. Want to turn back the hands of time and re-do everything to fit your premise? Try using a pair of ruby slippers. I hear that and a bump on the head will get you home free.

And Again, It Fails!

2006-07-16T04:14:00.000-02:00

Maintenance. Oh how I hate that word! TypePad uses it with impunity - anywhere, any time - shut everything down and say it's for 'Maintenance'. The truth is actually much darker. Once again the Time Gremlins have infiltrated TypePad and forced it's servers to go offline (I dunno – sounded good at the time). It’s all an Al-Qaeda plot, of course; or French, or Iranian - or whoever it is we're all supposed to hate this week. Surely there’s someone to blame. TypePad couldn't have thought this up all by themselves. Why they'd have to be EVIL........Wait a minute - they are evil! I stand corrected.

Because knowing is half the battle...

2006-07-12T20:53:00.000-02:00

This PSA was included in the Pentagon's latest memo to U.S. military forces regarding the necessity of adhering to the Geneva Conventions:

Sing along!

(shamelessly stolen from these dudes)

in the proper context.. it aint such a bad thing..

2006-07-12T19:14:00.000-02:00

i started, for a moment, to write how much i hate typepad cus it's down, and they have a "maintenance" sign up. which is a lie. maintenance is what you do to PREVENT the sites going down. however, then i realized that if i can't post then neither can protein wisdom or ocblog so maybe we'd all be better of it went down permanently. there's no way the goodness and love produced by my blogging outweighs the bile and ignorance of theirs.

typepad sucks.
long may it suck.

Get The Fuck Out!

2006-07-03T12:51:00.000-02:00

I’ve been listening to Tony Snow dance around the administrations reaction to today’s Supreme Court smack down of the whole Gitmo bullshit - and I just can’t take it any more. The upshot is - they are actively looking for a way to circumvent a ruling of the Supreme Court. Christ! You should have heard Bush today – saying with one breath he has no intention of changing a god-damned thing and with the other that he’ll ‘abide by the ruling’. Bullshit, in any fucking language. Then Snow gets up there and say they have a phalanx of lawyers parsing each and every word – so they will ‘know what it really says’. It says you broke the law you dim-witted amadán! But no, says Tony the oh so weasely. Look here – each judge wrote an opinion – whose opinion do we follow? Do we follow Thomas and Scalia who dissented? Or do we follow Breyer who was in the majority but highlights certain areas he thought were the most important? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm? Why this could take some time! After all – we want to ‘abide by the ruling’.

But what of the prisoners, some enterprising reporter asks? What happens to them in the meantime? Why nothing – dear Tony looked astonished that she’d ask – after all, as he so famously told Helen Thomas – he’s The Teacher. Just like his boss is The Decider – That makes Tony Snow the Kommissar of information. The reporter tried to follow up – but don’t you have to respect the Supreme Court Ruling? You were admonished by the court to follow Geneva Convention rules. Don’t you have to change how the prisoners are treated? Of course not – says Tony – I don’t know that we need to change anything – that’s for the lawyers to decide (ah – now lawyers are The Deciders). But what about Congress she asks (this lady tried – I’ll give her that – not another one of her colleagues looked like they even gave a damn). Ah – Congress! Tony’s eyes light up – that needs to be gone over too. Some of the Justices mentioned Congress. That will take even more time to figure out. And with that – he moved on. So much for the Supreme Court, so much for the rule of law and so much for the American Constitution.

You know - the lot of ‘em – from Bush on down should just take the damn thing out of the National Archives and piss on it in full public purview. Not that the American public will give a fuck. Hey folks! Yoo-hoo! The President of the United States just stated he intends to disregard a ruling from the Supreme Court – a court he stacked personally, by the way. Plan on doing anything abut it? No? Thought so, you gutless motherfuckers. Well – you get the government you deserve – and you bastards deserve this – we don’t, unfortunately; but that’s the breaks, I guess. The majority could care less – so those precious few of us who’ve been carrying the torch you all seem to have abandoned have something to say. Get. Out. Go start your own fuckin’ country – make it that theocracy you’ve all been salivating for. Don’t even bother with a constitution – just copy Muslim Sharia laws and scream it’s really Christianity. Truth doesn’t matter – remember? Institute the death penalty for – oh, lets see – not attending the national church, failure to invoke god before passing gas – doesn’t matter – anything will serve. Even children can be under the gun – string ‘em up for talking back to their parents. Oh – and don’t forget corporal punishment. Beat those little fuckers till their backs run red. See how much fun you could have with your own country? Just leave America to those of us who think the founding fathers were right. So get out – pack up your shit and get the fuck out of my country – and that that sulpherating little shit Bush with you when you go!

No Gun Ri, Mai Lai, Haditha

2006-06-01T02:25:00.000-02:00

Well - It seems massacring civilians is as American as apple pie. And to think I believed Haditha and Mai Lai to be anomalies! I actually thought doing something this heinous was so antithetical to even being American, the chances of it happening a multiplicity of times were slim and none. After all - Mai Lai and Haditha happened under the ‘leadership’ of two criminal presidents – Nixon and Bush. I thought that played into it. But No Gun Ri occurred on Truman’s watch. The buck stopped with him, as he so famously put it. That means those deaths were on his shoulders. And now Haditha. Once again American servicemen murdered civilians; slaughtered babies in their beds. Excuse me while I throw up.

Chief Warrant Officer Hugh Thompson understands Mai Lai better than most. He had a front seat. If not for his intervention – hundreds more would have been executed. He put his life on the line to save women and children from being slaughtered by Calley and his band of murderers. He was the one who brought this horror to light - testifying to the truth. And he paid dearly for it – threats to his life, threats to his family, the torture and slaughter of his pets. This from ‘supporters’ of the military machine. They thought he should have shut up – helped cover it up; stood by and let it happen - like the Haditha apologists today. I suggest you take time to read his story. Perhaps it might affect your opinions toward the marines in Haditha. At least – I hope it will. This is how Thompson summed up that day:

It was probably one of the saddest days of my life. I just could not believe that people could totally lose control and I've heard people say this happened all the time. I don't believe it. I'm not naive to understand that innocent civilians did get killed in Vietnam. I truly pray to God that My Lai was not an everyday occurrence. I don't know if anybody could keep their sanity if something like that happens all the time. I can see where four or five people get killed, something like that. But that was nothing like that, it was no accident whatsoever. Pure premeditated murder. And we're trained better than that and it's just not something you'd like to do.

Bush Hates America

2006-05-09T03:02:00.000-02:00

Does it seem to you that America circa 2005 is very like that of America exactly 100 years past? Similar themes, you know - what had been a bourgeoning middle class is constantly under threat from an increasingly apathetic corporate elite. Available jobs (i.e. low-paying) are being transferred to a hungry and ever-growing immigrant population. Entire occupations are being exported overseas - for example, America is no longer in the business of manufacturing textiles. Politics and politicians are increasingly available to whoever bids highest, or offers the most palatable positions post-Washington. Not to mention a press who, like Narcissus, have become overly enamored of their own reflexive rectitude. Why, old Teddy Roosevelt himself could be president - only, alas, he is not.

Let me introduce you to a newly endangered species - the middle-class American. When my parents and grandparents immigrated here, they gave their children the gift of upward mobility - a chance to shift circumstances from poverty to at least a semblance of wealth. Now, those who still believe in the American dream have been supplanted by a ruling elite whose only interest is in keeping their golf scores low. Somehow, I don't think that could have happened had old Teddy back then not forced corporate America to stop looking at the world in terms of the wealthy and those who provide them service. Today’s almost insurmountable problems I lay entirely at the Bush administrations extremely dirty feet.

I must say, I really do not understand Bush or his cronies in any way, shape or form. Now Nixon, (whose presidency is the only contemporary one I can reference when looking at Bush), was driven by his passions. The man knew how to hate (a sobriquet he assigned to Mama Bush, by the way). Once you understood that about him, parsing his decisions becomes easy. Vengeance personified - quiding before the pro quo had even dried. That and he wanted a place in history - hell - more than just a place; the man wanted next to Lincoln on Mt. Rushmore!

Side note – my Father worked at Lockheed during the ‘60’s. He was assigned to guide Nixon around the plant during one of his ‘68 campaign stops. Now, I was only a kid, and more interested in what new clothes I could make for Barbie that week, but I never forgot what he told my mother when he came home. He said, ‘no one should EVER treat his wife that way – no one’. It stayed with me; Pop wasn’t big on the condemnation thing – we left all that to my Mother. Later conversations revealed Nixon hadn’t been too kind to dear old Dad, either. I must say, after all that I could never bring myself to trust the man. My Father never explained what prompted his comments and I never asked him about it, though it always made me wonder.

But Bush – the inconsistency and complete lack of credible decision making baffle me. It’s as if all he wanted to do was to get elected. That’s all – just elected - no real work involved. It’s the 7th grade boy who never feeds the dog, the college frat party ethic of ‘we here by pledge to never get up before noon’, the ‘sure I know the garbage has to go out, honey – just wait till I catch these scores’. Puerility, coupled with a total and complete lack of responsibility from day one. This belies the White House’s constant drum beat portraying Bush as some kind of demi-god with omnipotent powers ready to sweep down and provide salvation. What salvation? We have been hit by a disaster proportional to another terrorist attack (one which our government ignored), fuel prices keep rising, major White House officials are under indictment or investigation and Bush himself seems only interested in playing with his cowboy hat.

They say the event makes the man. Well - maybe that was so for Lincoln, or Wilson, or Roosevelt (Teddy or Frank – pick one - you still hit 21). But this man we have as president now – a complete waste of a suit, in my opinion. He continually steps all over his hang-down, and is too stupid to understand why it hurts! I mean, what the hell is wrong with him? He persists in viewing Iraq through prismed lenses, beats the drum against its neighbor and mortal enemy Iran - and why in the name of all that’s holy attempt to smear the wife of a perceived enemy? Especially when it jeopardizes American interests abroad? Valerie Plame’s job was to spy on Iran, for Christ’s sake! I mean, by now, mustn’t he know it isn’t possible to hide that sort of thing? And what about the rest of the inanities! Re-hiring Brown as a FEMA consultant, firing the head of the CIA before a replacement has been approved by Congress, denying an independent commission to investigate the entire Katrina debacle, etc., etc., ad nauseaum, ad infinitum. Does he think we’re not watching? What the hell is going on up there anyway? Are the lunatics running the asylum?

Maybe it’s about time we dropped a house on their ass – a great big one complete with septic tank. And we should do so with cold precision; aided and abetted by all the 'little people' the Bush machine has so thoroughly screwed. If we’re lucky, the lot of ‘em will self-immolate, and we can collectively hand them their hats. I doubt it though. The only person truly capable of slaying that dragon is the one with all the Benjamin's. Point being - old George there and his cracker barrel five won't be considered salvageable if he no longer turns a profit for corporate America. His coterie may be rabid; but the Murdock's of the world only see through their glass darkly. Bush can’t sell soap for them, if no one is watching. The minute ratings/$$$ dip into negative territory – and I’m talking ratings here, not poll numbers - watch and see how quickly every single one of them are sent riding toward Texas on a rail.

I’ve heard people say, ‘Republicans hate America’. Now, I don’t happen to believe that as it applies to the average American; just like saying all Christians think like Pat Robertson, or all Muslims want to destroy the United States. It’s just not true. But I’ve gotta wonder about the group up on Capitol Hill at the moment. They’re like strip miners – whatever’s left over before they leave is not only useless, it’s ugly as well. It’s Bush and his cronies that hate America – and all I have to say about that is, "You knew I was a snake when you picked me up".

The Hobbits Strike Again

2006-05-02T21:33:00.000-02:00

First they giveth then they taketh away

Gender and Blogging

2006-04-14T01:54:00.000-02:00

Just what is the equivalence of a pat on the head complete with lollipop? Is it the left-handed compliment – ‘well, pretty good, considering you don’t focus solely on politics’. ‘What a nice little blog!’ ‘There’s always room for your sort of thing.’ ‘I’m sure some people will find the information useful.’ Makes you wish they’d not bothered in the first, place, doesn’t it? Make my lollipop cherry, please. Or is it more of a ‘seen but not heard’ kind of thing? ‘If we ignore her long enough, maybe she’ll just go away – we don’t have enough marshmallows to go around, you see.’ ‘She can’t play – she’s a girl!’ ‘Da da da da da da da da da da da – (has she gone yet?) da da da da da da (OK – it’s safe to take your fingers out of your ears, guys – she shut up’).

Of course – one can stake out a niche in the world of feminine and feminist bloggers – women’s issues (lower case, to most of the ‘boys’) are very much in vogue these days, especially those issue’s that have a political flavor. Great to be sure; a generous leavening of the political blogs out there are run by women (and I think the best), but the classification becomes inaccurate if your subject matter strays toward the personal or rhetorical on occasion. And there is the world of diary blogging – chronicling you or your family’s life and times – all worthy to be sure – and all summarily dismissed by ‘the guys’ as not weighty enough; you know what I mean - along with all family related issues diary blogs are usually labeled as lacking in ‘fiber’. Oh, they rarely come right out and say it. Hence employment of the above strategies. But you will get the point – of that you may be sure. Without declaring yourself openly and avowedly political in nature, you might as well pack up your dictionary and go home. Unless you like lollipops, of course; in that case there are plenty to go around (though they’re out of cherry, I’m afraid).

So what’s a girl to do? Smile sweetly and hold some guy’s jacket while he and the ‘boys’ kick around that metaphorical football? Not for me, sister. I’ve never accepted anyone’s labels, and I don’t intend on starting this late in the game. Go marginalize someone else. Think you can pigeonhole me as Mensa-light? I don’t think so. And if you do, then you’ve got another thing coming. There actually are a few men out there who prefer their meals 'spiced'; maybe not enough to keep me in cookbooks – well, not yet anyway. But there are lots of hungry women though – chefs in their own right, capable of sustaining me and mine till hell freezes over, if need be – though I really don’t think it will take that long. In the meantime I will craft my work for me – you’re welcome to the table bucko – but one crack about how I prepared the meal, and I’ll send you on your way, lollipop and all!

Jesus Works For La Migra

2006-04-08T00:46:00.000-02:00

Body Armor Cover Up Exposed

2006-03-27T04:17:00.000-02:00

You know all that defective body armor our troops have been saddled with? Well - the truth has been uncovered by Liz of BlondSense - and it will curl your hair! Remember David Brooks and his 13 year old daughter's outrageous coming of age party? A cool 10 million spent to entertain the little darling with the likes of 50 Cent and Aerosmith. Well - it looks like that party was paid for with the blood of our countries finest - both on the battlefield and fighting crime on our city streets. David Brooks is none other than the CEO of DHB Industries - maker of all that defective body armor; body armor cited as the leading cause of death and injury amongst American troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. The same body armor worn by our men and women in blue, by the way; lots of dead and injured police on his conscience as well, it seems. Interceptor by Second Chance, it was called. Second Chance. How fucking ironic. Recalled. Every bit of it. Why? It didn't bloody work!

Soldiers For The Truth has reported extensively on this. In fact, it was they who brought to light the Army's shameful policy of denying survivors benefits to any soldier choosing the better made Pinnacle Dragon Skin (purchased at their own expense, mind you).

Two deploying soldiers and a concerned mother reported Friday afternoon that the U.S. Army appears to be singling out soldiers who have purchased Pinnacle's Dragon Skin Body Armor for special treatment. The soldiers, who are currently staging for combat operations, reported that their commander told them if they were wearing Pinnacle Dragon Skin and were killed their beneficiaries might not receive the death benefits from their $400,000 SGLI life insurance policies. The soldiers were told to leave their privately purchased body armor at home or face the possibility of both losing their life insurance benefit and facing disciplinary action, they said.

Of course, Pinnacle was the choice of all the officers and other high mucky-mucks. God forbid they get blown to smithereens along with the common grunts. You all remember this - right? I sure as hell do. Did you also know David Brooks was a well known big money contributor to The Republican Party? Big fucking surprise, right? How do you think DHB Industries got that body armor contract in the first place? Pissed off? It gets worse. On top of all that, Davey boy managed to rook his stockholders with an Enron style 'pump and dump' scheme that netted him 185 million and left investors without one red cent.

David H. Brooks, CEO of bulletproof vest maker DHB Industries, earned $70 million in 2004, 13,349% more than his 2001 compensation of $525,000. Brooks also sold company stock worth about $186 million last year, spooking investors who drove DHB’s share price from more than $22 to as low as $6.50 [DHB was trading at $4.20 Wednesday]. In May 2005, the U.S. Marines recalled more than 5,000 DHB armored vests after questions were raised about their effectiveness. By that time, Brooks had pocketed over $250 million in war windfalls.

David Brooks – War profiteer extraordinaire. I mean – who gives a flying fuck if teen-agers are coming home in press-board boxes, while their comrades in ‘arms’ arrive having left theirs behind on the battlefield? Brooks was able to educate his daughter on just what conspicuous consumption is all about. Christ! Are you awake yet, America? Listening to the now deafening roar against this administration? Or do you still buy the Lonesome Rhodes, aw shucks God-fearing man swill Bush is slinging at you? David Brooks was allowed to do this by the Republican Cabal infesting The White House. He and Dick Cheney are connected through Halliburton, you know. Really. God’s honest truth. Still not convinced? Well - If you can’t or won’t see what that truth is – then you belong in the same jail cell as Brooks and the rest of those bastards!

From The Department of Homeland Security

2006-03-14T18:20:00.000-02:00

I'm sure you've heard we're all supposed to begin hoarding powdered milk and tuna in event of a 'bird flu attack'. Evidently we can add those handy little items to the plastic sheeting and duct tape that were designed to protect us from biological attack. Well, here are some guys who'll help with all that extra duct tape you still have hidden under your bed from last time. Enjoy.

Duct Tape Department of Homeland Security

Public Service Announcement

2006-03-02T12:32:00.000-02:00

Because even cyberspacial personas have feelings:

What everyone should know about blog depression.

4 out of 5 Typepad bloggers agree that Typepad/Six Apart is a major cause of blog depression.

Horowitz Knows!

2006-02-23T16:09:00.000-02:00

An Open Letter to Helen Thomas

2006-02-18T01:18:00.000-02:00

Dear Ms. Thomas,

First of all I want to say that you are one of my hero’s. I am sneaking rapidly up on the half century mark, and I have been listening to you storm the fortresses of power since I was a little girl. Watching you stand – unwavering – a woman alone (especially in the early part of your career); well - you taught me little girls could play with much more than Barbi or easy-bake ovens. The news would come on, the President of the United States would make a speech (the same President I was taught every day in class to revere as though he were a god). Then, smiling - he would turn toward that sea of faces sitting before him, gesturing with one hand as if he commanded an empire instead of serving at the pleasure of the American people. Up you would stand; pen and notebook firmly in hand, and that Cheshire smile would slowly disappear from his face. Your voice was even, calm – distinct. Why, Mr. President, you asked. Always ‘why’. No smile from him after that – hands gripping the podium, clearing of throats, looks to the side. Even as a child I knew he had been caught in a lie. Imagine that - the President of the United States caught in a lie – by a woman who looked like my mom.

All through my life you have been a political constant. Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon. Flashier men with booming voices in pinstriped suits would occasionally grab the spotlight – “No, Mr. President – are you?” People applauded their courage – mistaking bombast for strength; and all the while you stood – front row, house left, pad and pen at the ready. Cameras would seek out the occasional, temporary blond – eye candy – no substance. Why is it America seems obsessed with model perfection? Yet it was always your questioning that led off each and every newscast. Eventually I learned your name. Helen Thomas – United Press International. Helen. I began looking for you, listening for your voice as I’d move through the flotsam and jetsam of my life. I grew attuned to it – grew to trust it; to expect to see you when I’d look up during a particularly heated exchange. Reagan used to smile at you – I remember that – he never backed away, even though he obviously didn’t like your questions. He always accorded you the deference you both deserved and had earned. None of this back of the bus shit the current resident of the White House seems to require in order to bolster his extremely fragile ego.

Clinton always had this rather bemused look on his face – as if he admired the hell out of you – even when you held his feet to the fire over blunders or personal lapses. I always had the impression he liked you immensely – really liked you – even though you made it clear you certainly didn’t return his esteem. Still - I remember he always gave you the first question. But by then, I expected any president to do just that. Decades of hard work ensured that preference, one would think. But not this boy – no; in his fear of all things contrary he tried to shut you out – deposed in favor of a male prostitute who sidled and shimmied and oozed his way into the confidence of a man who pays lip service to morality, but has yet to practice any of those professed beliefs. Frat boy that he is, Bush then allowed one of his mouthpieces to call you names – ‘Old Arab’ – imagine that – the premier lady of American journalism reduced to a racial epithet. Back of that bus, Helen – out the door. And not a peep from your colleagues – not a whisper; their jealousies finally getting the best of them. I was ashamed of more than my government that day. I lost all respect for your profession, I’m afraid. Not you – never you. You stayed on – shouting to an empty room – look! Look! The imperial presidency is here! See him clearly for what he is before it’s too late!

God bless you for that, Helen. Some of us did hear you, you know – we aren’t all blind. Nothing’s been done, I know – and my heart hurts as a result; but we’ve seen the emperor naked now – his short comings visible for all the world to see. And when he’s finally been relegated to his much deserved footnote in history – a new President will stand at that podium, looking out over a sea of faces. Let’s hope that when he does – yours is the first one he sees. I live for the day I hear, “Helen Thomas, Madam President – First Question.”

Typepad Hates Fridays!!!

2006-02-03T16:18:00.000-02:00

What is it about Friday that Typepad doesn't like? Is it personal? I mean - did something really, really bad happen to Mena on a Friday so that’s when her multi-million dollar baby goes bye-bye? My stats had been on and off disabled for days. Last night, they seem to finally have been turned off in their entirety. When I submitted a help ticket, I was told to go buy another metering service. That’s it - no oh, gee; I'm so sorry for screwing up something you've paid for so let me see if we can fix the problem. No - it was get the hell out, and don't let the door hit you in the ass as you go.

Now - I know - LEAVE says you. Love too. Problem is - when I signed up for this gremlin infested service I opted to pay ahead for an entire year. That’s me, tying everything up in a neat little package! So – I go and they'd have my money for nothing; while I’m forced to bundle up my kit and move on. And yes, they charged my credit card, and no those 'rebates' we all got when they had a meltdown haven't been applied yet. I had forgotten I'd done that, you see. I had been looking around, deciding where to go and lit on Wordpress and a viable alternative. So - my plans were to start moving stuff, with the idea of completing the move by March (I'm a slow learner when it comes to the technical end of all this - so it takes me a while to get things done).

Now it looks like I'm stuck till maybe next THANKSGIVING - because I'll be damned if I'll let them take my money! I’m so bloody pissed off right now I’d sue the bastards if I could afford to! I’m open to suggestions here, folks. I don’t think they’ll be forthcoming with any refund if asked, do you? When you all left (those of you that already have) were you in my situation, and did they refund your balance? Or am I whistling in the wind to think of moving at all, as all the other available services suck too? Would moving - no matter what the provocation - simply be trading one devil for another? Let me know, kiddos – ‘cause I’m mad as hell and feeling extra stompy today!

Brought To You By Pantload Media

2006-01-31T22:43:00.000-02:00

Gee, do you suppose this is a spoof? Little Green Fascists.

tags: little green fascists little green footballs far right

DeLay Death Watch

2006-01-30T21:59:00.000-02:00

Isn't He Gone Yet?

The clueless Tom DeLay, talking to the equally clueless Chris Matthews, says that his consituents are "very, very supportive" of his reelection bid. This is despite a 60% disapproval rating.

Instead of blaming his own greed, DeLay blames "Nancy Pelosi, MoveOn.org, George Soros, Howard Dean," and others for his predicament. Ronnie Earle can't finish him off quick enough.

tags: delay death watch tom delay chris matthews ronnie earle

A Thought on the Governator

2006-01-30T16:55:00.000-02:00

Ahnold's policy direction is a lot like the weather in New England, if you wait a minute, it will change. So, true.

X-Posted at PovertyBarn.

Typepad - The Evil Empire

2006-01-27T02:54:00.000-02:00

All day now, certain sections of Typepad have been deemed verboten by the evil Carla and her minions at sixpart support. That means you can get in - but you can't maneuver once you're there. No explanation as to why has been forthcoming. As I cannot post, I come here for either solace and support, or to wallow in our mutual disregard of Typepad et al - whichever comes first. Sometimes I feel Carla has developed a particular tendre for screwing around with my blog. It’s enough to make a person scream bloody murder whilst hoping up and down on one foot!

UPDATE

Once again Typepad has sucked big wazzobies! I haven't bothered sending in a help ticket - as they now universally ignore them. Yes, I know, I need to switch over to Wordpress, or something like it. Not being technologically inclined, all that just takes me longer than most - especially since I lost my one source of assistance in that regard. So - I am well and truly on my own - and as I am a Luddite at heart, everything tends to take me three times as long to master. So, in the meantime, here I am - hat in hand - wishing the evil gnomes infesting Typepad would find somewhere else to play!

Goodbye Fayard

2006-01-26T04:18:00.000-02:00

One of the greatest dancers of all time has died. Fayard Nicholas, half of the acclaimed Nicholas Brothers has finally joined his brother Harold in heaven. Such an incalculable loss – when I heard the news I cried. Now, when they do get around to filming that story, there will be no one left to tell exactly how it was. You don’t know The Nicholas Brothers? Not your fault – the blame lies with white obsessed movie aficionados. The Nicholas Brothers have been all but ignored whenever the greats of dance are lionized. Astaire, Kelly – Fayard Nicholas. He belongs right up there – first, in fact. He was choreographer and dancer, gymnast and artist.

Whatever innovation you can think of – Fayard Nicholas did it first. Dance-off’s? Done – with The Berry Brothers at The Cotton Club. Dancer vs. Musical instrument? Yup – 1940, Down Argentine Way. Moonwalking? Did that first too – where do you think Michael Jackson got the idea? Flash and control. Quicksilver with legs – that’s what Fayard Nicholas was. The late, great Gregory Hines once said that in any film of The Nicholas Brothers lives, the dances would have to be computer generated - because no one could possibly duplicate them. They were electrifying dancers – athletes first; but with a subtle artistry that was sheer genius. Harold always deferred to his older brother – he was a poet, the younger Nicholas said – talking to you with his hands and feet. Yet this magician, this brilliant, beautiful man was only gifted with two major awards before the end of his life. He won a Tony for his choreography of the musical Black & Blue, and he and his brother were granted Kennedy Center Honors before Harold died in 2000.

I could catalog the signature moves for you – no-hands splits, that even Balanchine praised as beyond balletic perfection; Astaire likened their gravity defying ‘Stormy Weather’ number to “tap-dancing with the fearless exuberance of children stone-hopping across a pond”. All you have to do is look at the unbridled joy on Fayard’s face to see it was true. God – what a loss! And no mention of his death anywhere. Where are the hour specials, the career retrospectives, the marching bands? Well – I remember you, Mr. Fayard Nicholas – I remember you and your brother, and I thank you for the countless hours of entertainment you brought me. And if anyone else out there is curious – rent Stormy Weather or Down Argentine Way and allow yourself to be amazed.

God bless you, and keep you safe, Mr. Nicholas. Both you and your brother.

Teaching Tolerance

2006-01-25T23:46:00.000-02:00

Since I am a lifelong Bay Area resident, I make the mistake of assuming that everyone is just as liberal, tolerant and embracing as I am. Well, today I received another reminder that this is not the case and my heartbreaks just a little bit more.

Over in the East Bay in San Leandro, the school district saw fit to teach tolerance and make their schools - gulp - safe for all students. This was done by passing out the poster that is posted here to all teachers at a yearly seminar on LGBT issues because, sadly, gay students are harassed and worse at schools. The poster was designed by one of the LGBT clubs at one the campuses.

However, about five teachers have refused to hang the posters in their classrooms because of their religious beliefs. None of these teachers were available at the time of the Chronicle's article for comment. Why not be proud of your stance? You lily liver-ed bigots!

My thoughts:
1. Whatever happened to separation of Church and State? Clearly, these peeps are getting paid with government monies.
2. These are not private institutions, so get over it. You are not being asked to discuss it, although, you should.
3. You are perpetuating myths and passing along the bias of those who are not tolerant.
4. GET OVER IT! You should be teaching and embracing ALL STUDENTS. If you are unwilling to do this, then find another job. Every child should feel welcome at their school, no matter what.
Cross-Posted at Daily Pepper and PovertyBarn

Oh, Canada ...

2006-01-24T22:12:00.000-02:00

What Happened To Standing On Guard?
Haven't You Learned From Our Example?

OK, so now you've got a Bush clone in charge (not pictured). Doesn't like abortion, gay marriage (which you have, eh?), Kyoto, or civil rights. So how long you think it'll be before he's listening in on your phone calls? Like desert climates? Soon your fine young Mounties will be wearing desert camo and ineffective body armor in our Operation Enduring War™.

Oh, and watch for all your nationalized stuff to be quickly contracted out to Halliburton, KBR, and Bechtel. Sure, you can't be a superpower - that's us! But Harper will certainly waste your tax dollars on war-on-terror toys. And, in no time at all, your air will be an unbreathable as ours.

So welcome to the club! The "conservatives" did the same thing to you they did to us (well, except stealing two elections) - they kept the real wingnuts under wraps so they wouldn't scare your average voter like last time. You know, wingnuts are the ones who think anyone who's not white and Christian belongs in a camp. You'll see ...

tags: stephen harper canada iraq war on terror impeach bush far right photo: Larry Downing (Reuters)

We Are So Screwed ...

2006-01-19T16:52:00.000-02:00

Google Defies the Dear Leader!
Google is Doubleplus Ungood!

~~Bu$hCo~~ Oceania lawyers want a million or so Google search records. They need them to revive a law the Supreme Court said was no good.

Shame on Google for acting against Ingsoc and the Dear Leader! What are privacy rights worth when we could lose the war on ~~terror~~ ~~Afghanistan~~ ~~Iraq~~ Eastasia?

tags: ingsoc 1984 iraq war on terror impeach bush george orwell google

Doubleplus Good!

2006-01-19T16:08:00.000-02:00

So Orwell Was Off By 16 Years ...

Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia! Click here. All your news should come from here.

And here's more doubleplus good news from the Ministry of Truth: we never sent prisoners to Syria to be tortured! We've never even heard of Syria. Bashar who?

And don't forget:
War is Peace
Freedom is Slavery
Ignorance is Strength

tags: ingsoc 1984 iraq war on terror impeach bush george orwell extraordinary rendition syria

Trent Sharpens a Lott of Long Knives

2006-01-18T17:18:00.000-02:00

Trent Gets Ready to Rumble

Trent Lott hates Bill Frist. Remember Frist? Senate majority leader? God's Diagnostician?

Trent's been pissed off for a while: first Frist swiped his leadership position after the Strom 100th birthday kerfuffle, then the big, bad hurricane blew his house down (Frist must have prayed hard for that one).

Now that Trent has announced he'll seek a fourth term, it's almost certain he'll challenge Frist for his old position. While we have no love for Frist, why would anybody (or any body) want to be led by a guy who irons his shirts after they come back from the cleaners and won't let one type of food touch another on his plate? And what about his misty reverence for segregation? That could be important ...

tags: trent lott bill frist right wing

Bye Bye DiFi

2006-01-17T22:09:00.000-02:00

After reading blogenfreude and Daily Pepper's posts over the last few minutes, I have to finally voice my outrage and annoyance.

California Moderate Dianne Feinstein said that she will not vote for Alito, but she doesn't see a need for a Filibuster. Excuse me? Does she remember that she is a woman? Um, hello!!!!!!!!!

Dear Senator Clueless:

You are the only woman on the Senate Judiciary Committee. Alito has made his stance clear by his past actions that he is anti-choice and anti-woman. What in the hell are you thinking? By merely voting no and putting your head up your ass, you are turning your back on woman-kind.

I find you to be cowardly and unworthy of my support any longer. You are old and will be out off office fairly soon, maybe you are going senile? This could be the only possible explanation!

When Roe v. Wade is over-turned, I will lead a demonstration in front of your office in San Francisco and all of the of the cushy homes that you own. How nice for you that you get to sit in your mansions and look down at, we the voters, the people who pay your salary.

You make me sick and I am now supporting the Green Candidate who is running to unseat you, you miserable, daft cow who has forgotten whom she serves.

Signed,

A disappointed, woman Democrat and registered voter and X-posted at PovertyBarn

Now Go Die For Your Country!

2006-01-17T13:55:00.000-02:00

Would Somebody Please Say This Isn't True ...

Raw Story links to a blog post that claims "soldiers were ordered to leave their privately purchased body armor at home or face the possibility of both losing their life insurance benefit and facing disciplinary action."

Great. Rummy has plenty of Tamiflu, but soldiers in Iraq can't act to save their own lives. Just shut up and take one for the Dear Leader.

tags: donald rumsfeld dragon skin iraq war on terror impeach bush

2006-01-16T16:44:00.000-02:00

Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child must work for a living,
But the child that's born on the Sabbath day Is fair and wise and good and gay.

He was born on a Tuesday – January 15, 1929. They named him Martin Luther – after his father and in honor of the concept of reform, and rebirth. I would say he was well and truly ‘full of grace’. In fact, I’d say he embodied all the attributes of our little rhyme – a handsome man, blessed with wit and intelligence, he nonetheless struggled for recognition; working hard to achieve despite the almost insurmountable barricades erected because of the color of his skin. A wise man, he gave of himself freely, as though he had no pressing needs; finding joy in the simplest of life’s offerings – and giving back that joy to those around him. Truly - a prince amongst men. It does indeed seem the good, they die young.

Today we acknowledge the myriad contributions Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. injected into every facet of our society. He shaped the fabric of our cultural and political landscape as much as say, Jefferson’s enlightenment idealism or George M. Cohan’s unique ability to capture Americana in song. I grew up privileged to listen to the man – including his inspirational ‘I’ve got a dream’ speech. I may have been a little kid – but I heard it, and I knew what he said was right – I could feel it in my bones. He always seemed so calm, and collected – even when people screamed epithets – he quietly soldiered on. What a marvelous role model to hold up for America’s children – someone who saw what needed to be done, and did it – no matter the personal cost. Truly, as Kennedy said, what he could do for his country. Funny, but I can’t think of anyone today who’s not motivated by gain – not even Dr. King’s family. No one’s willing to sacrifice one whit of comfort or privilege for the greater good. Frankly, I’m not even sure there is a greater good - not anymore. There’s just greed, power and control – idealism died with King and Kennedy – the dregs that are left reek to high heaven of graft and corruption.

So I want you all to think about our world, this Monday – about how it is, and how it might have been had a snipers bullet not found its target one cool spring evening. He died on a Thursday, by the way – I hope the gates of heaven were within easy reach. Think about what might have been had another bullet not found its mark a scant 2 months later. Has anybody here seen my old friend Bobby? Think how much this country and the world would have changed had these two men never been assassinated. Robert Kennedy - born on a Friday, died on a Thursday – the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. I wish he were still here. Bobby would have been president - not Nixon. He would have appointed Dr. King head of a new cabinet post - the Civil Rights Commission. Everyone today would be equal under the law – no discrimination – gay or straight, male or female. Reagan would never have become president, the cocaine cabal under Cheney would never have coalesced and greed would never, ever have been good.

Ah well - if wishes were horses, then beggars would ride.

Has anybody here seen my old friend Martin?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
He freed a lot of people,
But it seems the good die young,
I just looked around and he's gone.

Didn't you love the things they stood for?
Didn't they try to find some good for you and me?
And we'll be free.
Someday soon, it's gonna be one day.

Has anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up over the hill,
With Abraham, Martin and John.

Amen

Wingnuts on Parade

2006-01-13T17:29:00.000-02:00

Pam posted yesterday on a group of wingnuts who don't like the Planned Parenthood condom keychain. Big surprise. Their protest is so successful that the website selling the keychains crashed. Oops.

Wonder what the nutters would make of the Car Guys' Sistine Wrench?

tags: planned parenthood car guys connecticut

Bush Does New Orleans

2006-01-12T18:16:00.000-02:00

Shrub visited New Orleans this morning to see the remaining devestation from Hurricane Katrina. Just Kidding.

He went to give an award to a woman named Daisy VanDenburgh for teaching kids how to read. The best part? Here it comes!

She is white and a registered republican. Shocking, isn't it?

He takes a tour of the Gulf Coast, so he can see things that have progressed.

Translation: He is shown where industry is cleaned up thus by-passing those who are poor, homeless/displaced, Black and Democrats.

Oh, he will also go to the home of a very rich Republican home builder for a fundraiser in Mississippi.

Cross-posted PovertyBarn and Daily Pepper.

If Only I Wrote a Successful Television Show about the Disenfranchisement of America, Then People Would Love Me

2006-01-11T19:48:00.000-02:00

I came over to shout in the wind. Typepad is hinky. Posts can save but can't be seen. The site times out - or something. What kind of treatment is this of someone who's using every spare minute of her day trying to restore America's vote? Where's my parade? And speaking of parades, did you see that the writers of Gray's Anatomy now have a Typepad blog, which gets front page promotion space? Who cares what the writers of Gray's Anatomy have to say? If I wanted to know what they care about, I'd watch the stupid show. Gimme Zach Braf or Wil Wheaton if you must but spare me ABC's latest big idea to promote their dopey shows.

From the Department of Soft Landings

2006-01-07T15:17:00.000-02:00

Scooter's A Think Tank Scholar!

Scooter has managed to land a job. He's going to be a "scholar" at right-wing think tank The Hudson Institute. Hudson is known for housing such bright lights as Robert Bork and Meyrav Wurmser (neocon wife of neocon David Wurmser).

Wonder how much Scooter is pulling down? And speaking of soft landings ... Herr Bennett's got a new gig at CNN.

tags: iraq war on terror scooter libby hudson institute meyrav wurmser david wurmser robert bork neoconservative

It's Friday - Do You Know Where Your Typepad Is?

2006-01-06T21:38:00.000-02:00

Well, girls and boys - it looks like Typepad is once again fer shizzle. At least for me, that is. I can't log in, and they don't recognize that I even have an account with them. There must be something about Friday's that 'Carla' and her team of nincompoops don't like. Let's hope this little problem doesn't last all weekend like last time.

So - how about you? Having any difficulties, or were you all smarter than the average bear, packed up your kit and already got the hell away from the evil empire? Maybe it's just me. Typepad has decided to hell with her - she said she was planning to leave anyway. Why bother with the customer service? {Sigh} I have a feeling it's gonna be a loooong night!

Breaking News: Cheney’s Still Breathing

2006-01-04T21:38:00.000-02:00

Oh, sorry. I read that headline wrong. It’s actually Cheney strongly backs eavesdropping operation. In any case, I hope you’re sitting down for this bombshell, Refugees.

Vice President Dick Cheney on Wednesday strongly defended a secret domestic eavesdropping operation and said that had it been in place before the September 11 attacks the Pentagon might have been spared…

"There are no communications more important to the safety of the United States than those related to al Qaeda that have one end in the United States," Cheney said. "If we'd been able to do this before 9/11, we might have been able to pick up on two of the hijackers who flew a jet into the Pentagon."

You know what’s weird? Until this very moment, I had no fucking idea that the August 6, 2001 Presidential Daily Briefing “Bin Laden determined to strike in US” was not a piece of paper handed to the president but the transcript of a phone call between al-Qaida operatives. Boy, do I feel silly.

Agitprop Asks: Who's the Worst?

2006-01-02T22:18:00.000-02:00

He Shredded the Bill of Rights Last Year ...
Why Not the 22nd Amendment in the New Year?

So here we are in 2006 ... what do you suppose is next on the Dear Leader's agenda now that Operation Enduring War™ is firmly in place to assure massive profits for Vice Fuhrer Cheney, Reichsminister Rumsfeld, and their ilk?

Ah, that pesky 22nd Amendment: "No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once."

If the Dear Leader could wipe away the 4th Amendment with a stroke of his mighty pen, can the 22nd be far behind? So Agitprop asks: since Cheney will likely be put out to pasture, who's your nightmare running mate for Bush's 2008 presidential bid? He'll need people-boiling advice, so we picked Uzbekistan's President Karimov. Winner gets a fabulous prize! Head on over to Agitprop to play!

And yes, we are aware that we failed to announce a winner in our Saddamist-Rejectionist contest, but we were preoccupied with our as yet unsuccessful campaign to make O'Reilly's list of smear sites. Check Agitprop today for the winner.

tags: george bush islam karimov war on terror impeach bush donald rumsfeld dick cheney
hat tip for graphic: Robot Buddha

I'm Sorry Dave. I'm Afraid I Can't Do That.

2006-01-02T02:39:00.000-02:00

I came over to whine because I want to put a photo album together and suddenly Typepad is locked to me. Neither of my browsers can find it or something. I need to get some sleep anyway. I should be thanking Typepad, the nanny host, for knowing what I need better than I do.

Have a Happy!!!

2005-12-31T19:48:00.000-02:00

May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven half an hour
before the devil knows you're dead!

Live and Direct from the British Empire!

2005-12-30T12:22:00.000-02:00

It's Not the al Jazeera Memo
But It's Not Bad!

BlairWatch asks, we publish! Here are a couple documents The Poodle doesn't want you to read. Of course we don't torture! (says Tony).

Background:

The UK government has been quick to deny that we practice, or tolerate the practice of Torture. So it is perhaps not suprising that they are determined that you should not see the following documents:
http://users.pandora.be/quarsan/craig/telegrams.pdf
http://users.pandora.be/quarsan/craig/npaper.jpg

Craig Murray was the UK ambassador to Uzbekistan, until his complaints and protest at the use of intelligence gained by torture got too much for Jack Straw and the Foreign Office, who set about attempting to unsuccessfully smear him, and to successfully remove him from office.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3750370.stm
http://www.craigmurray.org.uk/archives/2005/04/timeline_of_cra.html

The Foreign Office has had the draft of Craig's book for clearance for over 3 months now, and they are doing everything they can to try and prevent him from publishing his side of the story. Their latest attempt to cover their own backs was to inform him, the night before Christmas Eve, that these two documents cannot be published, and that he was to return or destroy all copies immediately.

Read more here.

tags: tony blair craig murray al jazeera memo torture uzbekistan

Agents Provocateur?

2005-12-29T17:48:00.000-02:00

There is a seeming seeming illogic on the face of it when you see a Phyllis Shafley or Ann Coulter flogging for something that will eventually rise up and bite them in the ass. It’s baffling, I know – but there are two possibilities for this form of blindness. One - they really don't believe what they say, and are doing it for the money. Case in point: Rush Limbaugh, a button-pushing, right-wing radio talk show host who makes his living edging those less educated towards outright violence. Why do I say his opinions are bogus? A number of year’s back I heard Mr. Limbaugh interviewed by Phil Donohue and Vladimir Posner (these men had a political show geared toward open understanding between the US and the then USSR). Limbaugh openly admitted that the face he presents to the public on his radio show was a character he created in order to drive ratings, and gain notoriety. When queried as to his own personal belief structure, Mr. Limbaugh indicated he did not necessarily agree with everything he said, but, what the fuck, it padded the bank account.

Now, I believe you have to have a real hole in your soul to foment universal discontent in order to line your pockets. Unfortunately, this practice seems to be a kind of disease with the Limbaugh’s and O’Reilly’s of the world. Perhaps Ms.’s Shafley and Coulter suffer from it as well. Certainly many so-called journalists do – how many is it now that have been caught with their hands in the cookie jar? Both here and abroad? The second possibility is one I do not think is limited to opponents of women’s rights et all (though I think it manifests itself in that arena most often); and that is an aura of invulnerability. It could be that these women consider themselves essentially immune from whatever fallout may occur should their opinions codify into law. It is too simple to berate them as traitors to their sex; it goes far beyond that. They fail to see that they are essentially being tolerated – like a kind of pet – by the men whose hands they so earnestly lick.

Let me offer this up as an analogy. I knew someone - a Saudi doctor - female, and fully in support of all the laws and restrictions governing women in that society - including the wearing of full Purdah at all times. We met while she was attending a medical conference in Dublin, and kept in touch over many years. Our discussions were always open, fulsome, and fully inclusive regarding our differing cultures and attitudes toward women and society in general. I often expressed concern over the relative inflexibility of Sharia law. She pooh-poohed me, claiming what restrictions existed were all for the good – helping women as opposed to harming them. It didn’t bother her that she had to receive written permission to leave her town, let alone the country; because she could never conceive of a time when it would be denied her. Nothing she truly wanted had ever been denied her, you see – not as the only daughter of a loving and indulgent (for Saudi standards) father.

Well, that all changed when she married (arranged, of course). She didn’t conceive - even after several years – and her husband’s family demanded she be ‘put aside’ in favor of a younger wife that would. Maimoona (her name, ironically means beloved one) suddenly found herself at the mercy of those laws and customs she had so vigorously defended. Suddenly, her formally sweet and adoring father refused to take her back in as she was (according to strict Islamic law), no longer his responsibility; leaving her to the mercy of her husband and his hateful family. My heart hurt when she wrote me about this. I told her she would always be welcome with me; though the offer was an empty one – how could she, when it was illegal for women to travel without express permission from the male members of their family? She wasn’t likely to get that – not from anybody. I wish I could tell you it turned out all right, but she stopped writing me shortly after 9/11, and repeated calls to the hospital she worked at have turned up nothing.

Perhaps Ann Coulter and her ilk truly believe they will remain in favor; as if carrying water in the trenches grants them some special privilege or exemption. It has escaped them that history is rife with examples of collaborators, along with their eventual, sticky ends. You see, people who hate, or court hatred, like to feel they are special; as if God singled them out for some kind of sainthood. What they never seem to realize is, when all the supposed ‘riff-raff’ has been disposed of – the hate still remains. And those in power will simply transfer that hatred somewhere else. They will look around at who is left standing, and choose.

An Agitprop Christmas

2005-12-27T21:09:00.000-02:00

The list. The list of "Media Operations that Traffic in Defamation™." Early Christmas morning, we jumped out of bed, ran to the tree, shoved all the iPods, sweaters, and cheese logs out of the way, and found our laptop. Eagerly we logged on, clicked "the link," and ... nothing. Nothing! Bill O'Reilly left us the blogging equivalent of coal in our stocking. Eleven O'Reilly posts since our War on the War on the War on Christmas started, and ... nothing!

So what now? To quote one of our favorite philosophers: "Of course, you know, 'dis means war!"

tags: bill o'reilly fox news o'reilly enemies list war on christmas

We Wish You Some Happy Holidays!

2005-12-24T15:40:00.000-02:00

Hey Bill ...

This is one of three trees we've put up over at Agitprop in our continuing efforts to get O'Reilly to add us to his list of "Media Operations that Traffic in Defamation™." Head on over and see the rest of the smearing.

tags: bill o'reilly fox news o'reilly enemies list war on christmas
graphic: HelenWheels

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!!!

2005-12-23T18:06:00.000-02:00

Ho, Ho, Ho – A very Merry Christmas to you all! I wanted to offer up two rather different ways of looking at this most contentious of holidays. The first dates back to the 1950’s, and is typical of what was popular during the Eisenhower head in the sand era. Keep in mind, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was a 50’s comfit – just the thing post-war Americans preferred with their morning coffee early on Christmas morning. Perhaps that’s why the 60’s featured so much activity and upheaval – all that sugar finally kicked in!

I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas is one of my husband’s favorite holiday songs. He originally heard it on Dr. Demento, a brilliant font for all things obscure and kitschy. If you don’t know Demento, you should acquaint yourself. Hubby was a devoted Demento fan (weren’t we all); I mean, that’s where I first heard ‘The Vatican Rag’, one of Tom Lehrer’s finest (did you know he used to teach mathematics at UC Santa Cruz?). I absolutely adore that man! His lectures used to be so packed; it was strictly SRO for every class. But I digress. So – click on the song title, and it will take you to a recording of blond belter Gayla Peevey singing her little heart out (you could hear this kid in Poughkeepsie). The song was revived some years back when the Oklahoma City Zoo needed to raise money to purchase; you guessed it, a hippo. It worked too.

For those of you needing a little vinegar to cut all that sugar, may I recommend this delightfully skewed take on today’s obsession with being politically correct. Another gift from my always interesting friend Elaine, the comic in the video clip has obviously had it with the Christmas war from all sides – and his interpretation of ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas’ takes the cake. I nearly fell off my chair, I was laughing so hard. So – here you go; remember now - it might take a couple of minutes to load – so just be patient. I promise it’s worth the wait!

Twas The Night Before Christmas

Funny stuff – yes? I thought so. Well – have a happy one, folks; take care and be safe – no side trips as you go over the river and through the woods on your way to Grandmama’s, or Aunt Bertha, or even just to your sister’s place down the street. We don’t want you getting lost out there. Also – try and avoid wolves at all costs; especially if you’re partial to the color red. Me – I’m staying home and cooking up a storm – all traditional junk – turkey, pumpkin pie, cornbread stuffing, fresh veggies – definitely lots of leftover’s to go in the fridge for future munching! So – Merry Christmas to all, and to all one hell of a good fucking night!

NO ON ALITO

2005-12-23T17:29:00.000-02:00

New documents have been released which show that Samuel Alioto made arguments to overturn Roe v. Wade in 1985. This is unacceptable in a candidate for the Supreme Court.

In a recommendation to the solicitor general on filing a friend-of-court brief, Alito said the government "should make clear that we disagree with Roe v. Wade and would welcome the opportunity to brief the issue of whether, and if so to what extent, that decision should be overruled."

His boss even knew that the mere mention of this idea was explosive.

. . . with a forward note from Reagan administration Solicitor General Charles Fried acknowledging the volatility of the issue and saying that it had to be kept quiet.
Fried took note of the implications of the emerging policy in his introduction to the June 1985 memo. "I need hardly say how sensitive this material is, and ask that it have no wider circulation," he said.

The confirmation hearings for Samuel Alito are scheduled to begin on Monday, January 9. Please contact your Representative and request that he/she vote NO ON ALITO. Let's not send women in back in time.

Cross-posted at PovertyBarn and Daily Pepper

Future? What Future?

2005-12-23T15:25:00.000-02:00

Last week I wrote a post about the Eastern philosophical foundations of defeatism. The comment thread evolved into an interesting discussion about peoples' favorite philosophers. Unfortunately the thread vanished into the abyss of Blogspot when our new Fugee template was installed.

One comment stood out in my mind and I've been thinking about it this week. Someone wrote that Karl Marx would be the philosopher of the 21st century, and that they were excited about the future of Marxism. I immediately thought to myself...how could anyone hope for the triumph of Marxism during the 21st century after all the oppression, carnage and war Karl's ideas caused during the last century. Granted, capitalism killed a fair share of people too, but Marxist ideas spawned some of the most horrible mass murderers of the 21st century--Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot to name a few.

I'm not saying Marx directly intended for his theories to be translated into genocidial social engineering, but hell, there is no way of enforcing his program as listed in the Communist Manifesto without resorting to brutal oppression and totalitarianism.

I thought Marx was cool when I read his shit in my political theory classes in college. Then I realized that his whole goal is to highten the antagonistic relationships in society (not resolve them) and create an unnatural, unrealistic society governed by a "dictatorship of the proletariat".

I might be a lefty, but I ain't no statist.

Have at it if you will.

(cross-posted at the defeatists!) (image from Bureaucrash)

what i learned from president bush

2005-12-23T15:06:00.000-02:00

the headline reads; Bush Sees Good 2005, Warns of Terrorism Fight

read that again - Bush Sees Good 2005, Warns of Terrorism Fight

WASHINGTON (AFP) - US
President George W. Bush called 2005 "a good year for the American people," but cautioned that terrorists like those who carried out the September 11 attacks still posed a threat.

if dubya has taught me anything, it's that reading the papers and staying up on the news of the world can only lead to unhappiness. why worry about so-called "news" and "facts" when you can stay so much happier by simply assuming that everything is A-ok.

hurricane katrina? sure i heard something about that.. little storm or something. i got to go hang out in my old party town for a few days. dirtier than i remember it but you know.. heh heh..my memory's kinda fuzzy from those days. besides, momma told me folks is better off now anyhow. good year.. let me tell ya. and that war business.. whoo boy is that ever going well. good year for those folks what is still alive anyhow.

yep. a fine fine year. i cant think of anything that went wrong.

this next year, the quitter's gonna make an effort to be even less informed than ever. i'll stick my head in the sand and just let folks i know tell me how things is goin. i don't have time for this crap.

happy new year and merry ex-mas.

oh yeah and watch our fer terrorists. they're comin to git ya!

(cross-posted at thedefeatists!)

Agitprop's Left-Wing Smearing - Day 1

2005-12-23T13:33:00.000-02:00

We're Making His List! ...
At Firedoglake (re: making O'Reilly's list): "Our hopes for 2006 are renewed. Who knew O'Reilly could read?" [via Robot Buddha]

Birmingham Blues directed us here for a delightful bit of mockery by Rosa Brooks called "The Grinch Factor" - we give only an except, but you must read the whole thing:

THE WHOS down in Who-ville
Were a tolerant lot:
Who Christians, Who Muslims - a Who melting pot.
Who Hindus! Who atheists! Who Buddhists, Who Jews!
Who Confucians, Who pagans,
And even Who Druze!

The Who 1st Amendment's Establishment Clause
Said, "No creches in courts," and the Whos loved their laws.
Because somehow . they worked. The Whos rarely fought,
Mostly, each Who did just what he ought.
Every Who down in Who-ville
Loved the Consti-Who-tion a lot.
But the O'Reilly, who lived up in Fox-ville,
Did NOT!

The O'Reilly DETESTED the Who Consti-Who-tion,
He thought it was some sort of liberal pollution.
Now, please don't ask why, for I really don't know.
Perhaps it had something to do with his show.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
Or it could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his RATINGS
Were two sizes too small.

Well, whatever it was, bad ratings or tight shoes,
He stood there one Christmas, just hating the Whos. [more]

hat tip (graphic): Doug Hoffman (Senator Joseph McFalafel, designed specially for Agitprop)

tags: bill o'reilly fox news o'reilly enemies list war on christmas

O'Reilly Wants Cab Drivers Shot Dead!

2005-12-22T21:21:00.000-02:00

At Agitprop, We Hear and Obey ...

Media Matters reports that O'Reilly has ordered left-wing smear sites to print the above admission. As a blog that aspires to make O'Reilly's list of "Media Operations that Traffic in Defamation™," how could Agitprop refuse?!

tags: bill o'reilly fox news o'reilly enemies list war on christmas

Agitprop Asks For Your Help

2005-12-22T19:10:00.000-02:00

Wherein We Momentarily Stop
Holding Our Breath Until We Turn Blue

So we haven't stopped trying to get onto O'Reilly's list of "Media Operations that Traffic in Defamation™," but we have re-evaluated our approach. First, O'Reilly said his list would be of "the names of all who support the smear merchants ...." Fair enough ... who wouldn't qualify? But then O'Reilly upped the ante: now the list is of media that "helped distribute defamation and false information supplied by far left websites." [emphasis supplied.] Aha! This is why we have not been blacklisted!

Clearly, a change of tactics is in order. We can't qualify by merely mocking Falafel Claus; we have to distribute the mockery. If Bill Googles "O'Reilly left wing smear" Agitprop must be the first result!

Therefore, if you care about Agitprop, if you want to see our Adsense revenue ever crawl above a buck a day, you know what you must do. Forward every smear of O'Reilly you see. Snail mail, email, we don't care. We'll link to it all. If you write it, we will publish it. Link to this post. If you Photoshop him, up it goes here at Agitprop. If you build it, we will come.

tags: bill o'reilly fox news o'reilly enemies list war on christmas

Supreme Court of Canada Okays Group Sex

2005-12-22T00:04:00.000-02:00

I'm so exhausted these days trying to finish up school that my usual opinionated self has given out. I don't think I could even manage to get behind a really big feminist issue tonight. Hopefully, in the New Year, I can post more on topics I really care about...but, for now, it will have to be swingers and group sex.

I was actually quite surprised by this news story, not because of the ruling, but that the issue made it to the courts in the first place. The Globe and Mail reports:

Two Montreal "swingers" clubs did not breach Canadian standards of decency when
they allowed group sex to take place on their premises, the Supreme Court of
Canada ruled this morning.

In its latest attempt to set guidelines that govern sexual morality in Canada, the top court said two swingers clubs in Montreal were not operating as illegal "bawdy houses," because what went on there did not cause any harm to society.

The decision could make it easier for other venues where group sex takes place among consenting adults - such as gay bath houses - to operate without the threat of police intervention.

The ruling dealt with two Quebec Court of Appeal decisions that came
down on opposite sides of the issue. In one case, the Coeur à Corps club was
acquitted by the appeals court, while in the other the L'Orage club lost an
appeal of a conviction on similar charges.

The L'Orage clubs owner appealed his conviction to the Supreme Court, while the Crown appeal the acquittal of Coeur à Corps.

The case law has generally defined an indecent act as something that is beyond standards of community tolerance, or is capable of causing harm by encouraging people to engage in anti-social conduct.

There is no evidence that "the sexual conduct at issue harmed
individuals or society," Chief Justice Beverley McLachlin wrote in the majority
decision, representing seven of the nine judges on the court.

At the clubs, "only those already disposed to this sort of sexual activity were allowed to participate and watch," she wrote.

Everyone going into the bars knew what to expect, she added, and at both clubs there was no evidence of anti-social acts or attitudes. "No one was pressured to have sex, paid for sex, or [was] treated as a mere sexual object for the gratification of others."

And just because the clubs were businesses, that didn't mean the
activities that took place there commercial - in other words prostitution - the
ruling said.

The only real danger to participants was that they might
catch a sexually-transmitted disease, the decision said, but this wasn't a
factor in their decision because it is "conceptually and causally unrelated to
indecency."

The issue is also the subject of the online poll for tonight's local news. So, what do you think? Should swinger clubs be legal?

via Marginal Notes

WRONG NUMBER

2005-12-21T19:49:00.000-02:00

THE PRESIDENT ALWAYS calls collect. Reverse the charges. Pay up, kids. MORE

Agitprop on the Edge

2005-12-21T13:33:00.000-02:00

What Do We Have To Do ... Bitch-Slap Rupert Murdoch?

The New Yorker has made O'Reilly's list of "Media Operations that Traffic in Defamation™." We at Agitprop offer our heartiest congratulations.

But this raises a troubling issue ... what does Agitprop have to do to make O'Reilly's enemies list? We have mocked.O'Reilly.at.every.turn. We have run the picture you see two or three times. We regularly join in a chorus of "Jolly Old St. Falafel." Again and again we have posted on this steaming pile of dishonesty. But nothing.

So what to do? It is critical that Agitprop make the list if we are to bring our Rejectionist, Defeatist message to a wider world. So we ask you, our readership. What do we have to do to get on the damn list? Please help us. Our very viability is stake.

tags: bill o'reilly fox news o'reilly enemies list rupert murdoch
photo by blogenfreude (taken in NYC's currently non-functioning subway)

Drunk With Power

2005-12-20T15:04:00.000-02:00

Seasons Greetings from the Prez:

It's perfectly legal to spy on Merkins. The Constitution says I can.

Have a bling Christmas. Peace out, bitches!

cross-posted at The PFC

Admit You're A Terrorist ... Win Fabulous Prizes!

2005-12-20T12:45:00.000-02:00

Since we're being watched, and the Dear Leader said he intends to keep watching, we might as well just fess up and get it over with. So Agitprop asks ... what are you, and why? Best answer wins a left-leaning t-shirt. Are you:

1. A Saddamist?
2. A Rejectionist?
3. A Terrorist?
4. A Defeatist?
5. A combination?

Here at Agitprop, depending on the day and the phase of the moon, we mostly find ourselves part Saddamist, part Defeatist. We miss that wacky Saddam, but only because he's keeping us from finding real terrorists. However, it's also true that the terrorists are now mostly in Iraq, and that should make them easier to find. We are part Defeatist because, well, the Dear Leader has decided to stay the course. He wants victory!

So head over to Agitprop to play, and make sure and line up according to belief ... get ready for your extraordinary rendition! Stopping in the U.K. and Poland ... all aboard!

tags: iraq war on terror impeach bush george bush extraordinary rendition

"Wanted"

2005-12-19T21:04:00.000-02:00

~~JOB~~ WANTED Strong, decisive type. ~~Psycho~~ ~~Sociopath~~ Go getter ~~go get Osama someday~~ preferred. Must not take no for an answer. Must be willing to sell ~~people~~, ~~arguments short McKrap TM~~ 24/7. No obstacle ~~in Constitution~~ will stand in way of successful ~~not so successful~~ ~~businessman~~ candidate ~~businessman~~ ~~with friends~~ for president of up and coming ~~country~~ company. No military service, okay. Must be willing to relocate ~~all Constitutional power in White House~~. English ~~as foreign language skill~~ helpful. ~~Paranoia~~ Ability to work with others a plus. Must be willing ~~to take entire month of August off~~ to work long hours to achieve defined goals. Come ~~climb the September Eleventh pile of rubble again~~ climb the ladder of success with us.

WE ARE NOW spied on to protect "us" from "them." Welcome to the Not So Fun House where the mirrors reveal things are not as they seem.

A CASE OF NATIONAL Attention Deficit Disorder? How did we get to this point? With the rise of Bush perhaps is revealed a large case of national Attention Deficit Disorder. This ADD revealed itself first in Bush's um election when counting the actual votes just would have taken too long. We needed results as soon as possible. Look what we got. Can't wait for threats to emerge? Look what we got. That detainee might have info, let's get it however we can as quick as we can even if the results aren't quite true! Look what we got! We've got laws, but they take too long to comply with. Look what we got. What we got was screwed. We now live a mutual national delusion of one man. The number of spy agencies multiplies to keep “us” safe from “them.”

WORDS HAVE MEANING At least they used to. Those who counsel a strict construction of the constitution who now suggest Bush did not step all over the Constitution with his recent traipse over the Fourth Amendment and his trespass with the NSA spying incidents in the the domestic sphere are fooling themselves. Not to mention jumping through hoops of inconsistent logic. Or running in circles as they chase the tail or is it the the tale of the President? A certain duplicity reveals itself. What is untold when told later may tell us there is more here than what the President claims is "limited."

SHORTCUTS SIMPLY shred Constitution to shreds. Declaring the president of the United States has some Constitutional authority and some statutory authority as Condoleezza Rice did yesterday and not being able to give even one example yesterday as Condoleezza Rice did yesterday because she is not a lawyer just makes obvious how bankrupt the declarations are. Repeat as necessary. There is no line of French in the Constitution that says L’etat, c’et moi. The state is me is nowhere there stated.

SAYING SOMETHING IS SO does not make it so. We live with a president who consistently believes restating his premise proves his premise. At some point people are going to have to take George Bush seriously both for what he says and what he does. That point is now. Casual asides reveal a more serious center, slightly off center. If one can say three examples prove a point, consider the famous or is it infamous citation of George Bush and his approach to his job. It would be a lot easier if this were a dictatorship, as long as he was the dictator. Said not once, but three separate times. Consider that Bush has declared he has on thirty separate times given the same order to the NSA to spy on citizens. Dictator? You decide. Some cynics would day dictator is term two syllables to long for what Bush has done here.

THOSE PESKY LAWS Orcinus considers “the problem:” These "annoying" laws exist for a reason fundamental to the very foundations of modern society: This is a nation of laws, not men. And while it's easy and convenient to discard those principles in the flimsy context of a movie, doing so in real life has profound and lasting complications.
I think what you can say is that the Bush team is cynically manipulating public sentiment for the sake of pushing the limits of presidential power. It's a brilliant move, really, tapping into an aspect of the psyche that has been preconditioned by a hoary myth that has been perpetuated over the years by Hollywood: the notion that the action-driven hero's instincts for "saving lives" are superior to careful reasoning and principled restraint.
But it sure is weird for a bunch of people who make a living out of deriding "Hollywood values."

THE HERETIK SUGGESTS we may end our national delusion if we stop feeding it with watching shows like 24. Can it be done? Even I confess I am sickly drawn to it. We see the fantasy. How many of us really want to live it?

WHAT'S OUT THERE BLOWING IN THE WIND?
CALLS FOR INVESTIGATION Democrats and Republicans called separately yesterday for congressional investigations into President Bush's decision after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks to allow domestic eavesdropping without court approval.
"The president has, I think, made up a law that we never passed," said Sen. Russell Feingold (D-Wis.).

PUBLIC ENEMY? Joe Keohane offers a synopsis and review of the newly re-issued Sinclair Lewis novel It Can’t Happen Here written in the all to familiar 1930s: PICTURE THIS: A folksy, self-consciously plainspoken Southern politician rises to power during a period of profound unrest in America. The nation is facing one of the half-dozen or so of its worst existential crises to date, and the people, once sunny, confident, and striving, are now scared, angry, and disillusioned.
This politician, a ''Professional Common Man,'' executes his rise by relentlessly attacking the liberal media, fancy-talking intellectuals, shiftless progressives, pinkos, promiscuity, and welfare hangers-on, all the while clamoring for a return to traditional values, to love of country, to the pie-scented days of old when things made sense and Americans were indisputably American. He speaks almost entirely in ''noble but slippery abstractions''-Liberty, Freedom, Equality-and people love him, even if they can't fully articulate why without resorting to abstractions themselves.
Through a combination of factors-his easy bearing chief among them (along with massive cash donations from Big Business; disorganization in the liberal opposition; a stuffy, aloof opponent; and support from religious fanatics who feel they've been unfairly marginalized)-he wins the presidential election.

THE HERETIK HAS PREVIOUSLY stated a belief in a certain circularity to history and a skepticism of progress. We face the same monsters again and again, the problems are as old as Proteus, the enemy returns like the multiplying heads of the Hydra, the face we see against us morphs in the mirror.

MORE ON WHAT WE ARE LOOKING AT
NEW TECH BEHIND NSA SNOOP CASE? There's more to the NSA domestic spying case than the current storyline -- that much is clear. The idea that the Bush Administration needed to bypass the courts to get wiretaps quickly makes no sense; under the current system, you can start eavesdropping, and get a warrant later. The notion that disclosing the surveillance would somehow tip off potential terrorists is laughable, too; Al Qaeda types know they're being monitored.
That's all assuming, of course, that the wiretaps in this case are the same as in any other. But maybe they're not. Maybe there's something different about this surveillance. It could be in its scope, as Laura suggests. But I'm guessing -- and this is just a guess -- that the real difference is in the technology of the wiretaps themselves.

Scary Daddy, Aware That We are Slightly Less Terrified, Sets About Correcting That Little Problem

2005-12-19T21:02:00.000-02:00

I'm often unwilling to chime in on something that everyone in blogtopia (hail skippy) will be writing about but I couldn't resist listing the examples of negative framing that Dear Leader used today in his appearance as Angry Daddy today in the East Wing. Negative framing is meant to terrify us to the point that we acknowledge that only Daddy can keep us safe from the dangers that surround us and that only he can see. The only way to combat this technique is to shine some light on it.

I can't figure out how to use extended entry, where I wanted to put the whole post so here are some of the greatest hits:

After September the 11th, one question my administration had to answer was, using the authorities I have, how do we effectively detect enemies hiding in our midst and prevent them from striking us again?
We know that a two-minute phone conversation between somebody linked to Al Qaida here and an operative overseas could lead directly to the loss of thousands of lives. To save American lives, we must be able to act fast and to detect these conversations so we can prevent new attacks.

I've reauthorized this program more than 30 times since September the 11th attacks, and I intend to do so for so long as the nation faces the continuing threat of an enemy that wants to kill our American citizens.

The terrorists want to strike America again. And they hope to inflict even greater damage than they did on September the 11th.

In the war on terror, we cannot afford to be without this law for a single moment.

The fact that we're discussing this program is helping the enemy.
You've got to understand, and I hope the American people understand, there is still an enemy that would like to strike the United States of America, and they're very dangerous.

This is an enemy which is quick and it's lethal. And sometimes we have to move very, very quickly. But if there is a need based upon evidence, we will take that evidence to a court in order to be able to monitor calls within the United States.

And that's really only the tip of the scary iceberg. (OHMYGOD! ICEBERGS?!) The rest is at my place.

A Question from El Comandante

2005-12-19T20:52:00.000-02:00

Fellow Refugee Comandante Agi. T. Prop asks:

So do we have a mission statement or some kind of focus or purpose on The Refugees? Or is it a free-for-all blog orgy?

Readers, what do you want to see? Members, what do you want to do? My personal goal is to get as many spy agencies reading this blog as possible. We want to make The General proud.

blogenfreude

Join The Party Party

2005-12-19T20:35:00.000-02:00

To celebrate the inauguration of the Refugees' newly designed digs, I think we need some music. Props to The Heretik and Shakespeare's Sister for their work on the site.

We will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.

Want to hear President Bush say "kiss my ass" and "who's the nigga"?

Of course you do. Check out The Party Party, a new mash-up album by Rx, a DJ/political remix artist. Try Dick is a Killer.

Cross-posted at Pime Forest Collective

my bomb is bigger than your bomb!

2005-12-19T20:21:00.000-02:00

Report: Nuclear Truck Bomb Would Kill 1.6M In NYC

yaawwnn.... huh? oh yea. i was commenting on that scintillating headline.

Report: Nuclear Bomb of the Approximate Size and Shape of the Empire State Building Would Kill Damn Near Everyone!

Don't be afraid, the government will protect you and the freedoms that this great nation was founded on*. Unless it does not, then you will not have died in vain because umm.. we will be vigilant and never forget.

ever.

*some freedoms may not apply

2005-12-19T20:03:00.000-02:00

OK - This is my last try. It's been cutting off my text in the middle, and won't let me post an immage. Here goes! You can find it at my home blog.

Come meet the face of dissident thought and organized terrorism facing the United States today: Hello! Fat Lady Sings, here! And I am about as dangerous a fugitive as there comes. I have read, in their entirety, the works of Voltaire, Sartre, Camus, Plato, Adler, Ionesco, De Sade (that ought to twist your knickers) Jefferson (as in ex-president) and that hothead of organized dissent – Benjamin Franklin (who happens to be a relative). I am also Irish – and that makes me ethnically dangerous as well. My Uncle stood up to Black Watch thugs in 1920 and was almost beaten to death for the privilege, and my cousin used to be Taoiseach – so you see – there is no hope; my gene pool has been irrevocably corrupted (O’Reilly notwithstanding). I know I should hang my head in shame – but I refuse! I am proud my people spawned the likes of Wilde and Shaw and C. S. Lewis (yes, that bastion of Christian thought was not only Irish but Catholic to boot!). I also hereby promise that on this March 17th I will join my fellow greenies and quaff generous amounts of Guinness in celebratory bliss. So put that in your pipe and smoke it!

And you don’t have to look far for my record! Oh no, ma petite! It’s in your own FBI files – go ahead; look carefully – its there; I know - I’ve seen a copy! During the late 1970’s I joined one of the most subversive organizations around; no, not the Communist Party (though I’ve read Marx, and trust me- it wasn’t much of a party). I became a card-carrying member of The Society for Creative Anachronism. Yes, I know I should hang my head in shame – but those swords and all that armor looked so inviting! Yet you saw through their medieval charade, didn’t you; and pegged them for the anti-American’s they truly are. I mean - these people frequent Ren-Faires, for heaven’s sake; and play D & D – a definite no no under Reagan’s heavy hand; not to mention conducting their own wars – without Herr Bush’s permission I might add! Hell - Nixon was convinced the SCA meant to blow up the Capital (though God knows no one at Pennsic would know a firearm if it shot them in the ass). So the government sent you, the Fucking Ball-busting Imbecile’s to suss it out. Pity your investigator decided to join up, though - wasn’t it? Doesn’t look good in the final analysis. I guess he got all corrupted and shit after whacking hay bales with a broadsword. Or maybe it was the kilt – you cannot discount the lure of homo-eroticism, you know. It’s what’s kept the military strong since history began.

How do I know all this? It’s in my file; along with that guy I dated when I was in High School whose dad worked with some mob idiots and (gasp!) worst of all – my college friend who had joined the evil Hispanic support gang Venceremos. Of course – there was that whole Cinque, SLA, Patty Hearst connection; and we might have been involved - but where did you think we kept her hidden? In our snoods? Guess it didn’t matter that they turned radical some years after she left – but it was terribly important to harass 18 year old girls back then. And you did such a crack-up job at it! Tapping her phone, following us around (those transcripts you made of our term paper discussions were pitch-perfect) – word-for-word – but (shhhh - here’s a secret) that was code! You knew it then, you sly dogs – when you put down that she had a friend (me) whose boyfriend was (horror of horrors!) black. I guess that made me guilty by association – and that’s all the rage now, I hear. After all, didn’t I approach your surveillance vehicle and tell your agents to fuck off and die? Well there you go – a direct threat to the FBI and all of its employees! Why, I could have done more damage than John Walker Jr. or Robert Hanssen combined (though they really did catch you with your pants down –hmmm?).

Finally, let us not forget I have an ARREST record. Oh yes – you all remember - that unexpected stop in Madera, California, where I was arrested for being the only white girl in a car full of young black men – one of them being gay? Flamboyantly so, too! Sporting an afro, paisley pants, pointed collars and extra high daisy covered orange platform shoes! Horror of horrors – look who I was associating with – one religion major, a math whiz and a loquacious budding theatre professional named Theo; yes, all claimed to be college students going to Mexico for the weekend, but we know that was nothing but a ploy. After all, as the arresting officer so kindly pointed out – no decent white girl would be caught dead with a black man; so that makes me indecent, and you know how those evangelicals feel about decency! Of course, it may weaken your case that the judge let us all go after I promised to contact the media and raise a huge stink (didn’t want his quaint little town to look racist) – but you can always doctor the records to make it seem I was guilty. Something I suspect you have lots of experience with, yes? Why don’t you say we were all sporting Black Panther t-shirts, or carrying copies of Mao’s little red book. Though I’d nix the latter – might piss off the Chinese and screw up trade.

So here I am – The Fat Lady Sings – right out in the open where you cannot help but find me. I promise not to run and hide, either. And if it makes you job easier – I smoke pot (or used to), support human rights, have friends who are not either straight or white and point blank refuse to knuckle under to this illegitimate, criminal, immoral, iniquitous villain of a President and his cabal of convicts in waiting. So come and get me, motherfuckers; I’ll remember to leave the light on!

I Spy . . .

2005-12-19T19:42:00.000-02:00

A Liar! While, sadly, I missed the Dong an Pony Show by ShrubCo over the last 24 hours, I still have a few thoughts. No, really it is true.

This little gem caught my eye; my commentary are the green portions.

Bush and other officials have said the program involved monitoring phone calls and e-mails of individuals in this country believed to be plotting with terrorists overseas. Does this include Valerie Plame and any/all of her family and friends? Furthermore, does this include Donald Rumsfeld?

Normally, no wiretapping is permitted in the United States without a court warrant. But Bush said he approved the action without such orders "because it enables us to move faster and quicker. We've got to be fast on our feet. Yea, like you were for the po' black folks down in New Orleans or poor people in general? Or to help with the AIDS crisis or to help the people on Darfur or to help the ravaged hills of Pakistan?

"It is legal to do so. I swore to uphold the laws. Legal authority is derived from the Constitution," he added. So, if you swore than what about the right to privacay? Pursuit of happiness for all which is stated in the Constitution, i.e. gay marriage? Are we reading the same Constitution or have you re-written it, too?

X-posted at PovertyBarn and Daily Pepper

Secret Flights? What Secret Flights?

2005-12-19T19:06:00.000-02:00

Oy. [from UPI]

The British Foreign Office privately accepts that CIA rendition flights did pass through its territory, a diplomatic source told United Press International.

The well-placed source said the Foreign Office "totally accepts" that the United States used British airfields to transfer prisoners abroad for interrogation, and is "extremely worried" about the political consequences.

The revelation comes amid growing signs of divergence between London and Washington over the way in which the war on terror should be conducted.

When British Prime Minister Tony Blair learnt in April 2003 that the United States had bombed a Baghdad hotel in which several media organizations were housed, killing three journalists, he "literally jumped out of his chair," the source told UPI. The Foreign Office was "horrified," considering the attack to be "obscene," the source said.

London took the same attitude towards a U.S. suggestion that it would attack the Qatar headquarters of the Arabic language television al-Jazeera, the source said.

Foreign Office officials threatened to resign if the Americans went ahead with the attacks, revealed in a Downing Street memo leaked to the British media earlier this year.

Blair reportedly talked U.S. President George W. Bush out of the attacks, warning it could fuel a worldwide backlash. The Mirror newspaper quoted a source as saying: "There's no doubt what Bush wanted, and no doubt Blair didn't want him to do it."

cross-posted at BlairWatch and Agitprop
tags: war on terror impeach bush george bush tony blair extraordinary rendition

CONNECTING THE DOTS

2005-12-19T19:00:00.001-02:00

Let me say something about the Patriot Act

You know, there's an interesting debate in Washington - and you're part of it - that says: Well, they didn't connect the dots prior to September the 11th

people were pretty adamant about hauling people up to testify and wondering how come the dots weren't connected

Well, the Patriot Act helps us connect the dots.

It is inexcusable to say, on the one hand, connect the dots and not give us a chance to do so

We've connected the dots - are trying to connect the dots

we're connecting dots as best as we possibly can

And so - I forgot what got me on this subject. But, nevertheless, we're doing the right thing.

EXCERPTS FROM THE PRESS CONFERENCE OF MR. CONNECT-THE-DOTS 12/19/05

Fighting Dems

2005-12-19T19:00:00.000-02:00

Raw Story’s Larisa Alexander and John Byrne are reporting that tomorrow the Democrats will release a massive report critiquing the administration’s Iraq war policies.

House Judiciary Committee Democrats, spearheaded by Congressman John Conyers (D-MI), are set to release possibly the sharpest congressional critique to date surrounding Iraq, RAW STORY has learned.

The report, titled "The Constitution in Crisis: The Downing Street Minutes and Deception, Manipulation, Torture, Retribution and Coverups in the Iraq War," is slotted to be made available to the public Tuesday...

According to Democratic aides, the report will focus on alleged manipulation of pre-war intelligence by the White House, specifically covering such topics as the Downing Street Minutes as well as the White House position on the Geneva Conventions and international law as regards its policies toward prisoners of war. Sources say the report is slated to be published as a book.

I’m…speechless. And I’m looking forward to reading this document.

(Crossposted at Shakes.)

Maher to Dear Leader: Game OVER!

2005-12-19T16:24:00.000-02:00

A Maher Proposal

Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to spend - you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit card's maxed out. No one's speaking to you. Mission accomplished.

Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away, like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's time, time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man?

Now I know what you're saying: there're so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know, there's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela, eliminating the sales tax on yachts, turning the space program over to the church and Social Security to Fannie Mae, and giving embryos the vote.

But, sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

So, yes, God does speak to you. What he's saying is: 'Take a hint.'

tags: impeach bush george bush bill maher
hat tip: Judy at Billionaires for Bush

CSI: TYPEPAD REFUGEEZ

2005-12-18T21:00:00.000-02:00

Hello everyone. Are you getting enough food, water, medical care?

I must admit to a feeling of oddness. I suppose that comes from the ennui associated with being an honorary refugee. The long hours spent doing nothing, waiting for help to arrive. The garbage piling up all around. Can't blog. Forced to watch either football or FOX.

"Can somebody change the channel?

Oh, Jesus. TIME, I see, is giving the "Persons of the Year" cover to Bill & Melinda Masterbates and Boner, their long lost love child. Sure, why not? Let's give it to the two richest people in the world and their whiny bastard son, why don't we?

I can't hear the sound from here. There's so much noise. Probably a good thing. I sure as hell don't wanna hear Boner whining about how wonderful he is.

I see those two "homosocials", William Jefferson Bush and George Herbert Walker Clinton holding hands while stepping off a plane together. Must be another appearance for their new movie, "Brokeback Tsunami".

Oops, there's Dick the Prick over in Iraq. Guess he must have needed an oil change. And there's Brainless John McCain talking on his cellphone as he enters the White House. I wonder what he's saying. Maybe it's:

"Motherfucking Typepad Refugees! Goddamnit! We never should have invaded Typepad! All we've done is strengthened their movement!

Good, somebody switched the channel. Local news. Holy cow! There's been a murder/suicide in Voidsville! What the heck?! We NEVER have murders around here! Lots of suicides, but never any murders. They're not releasing the names...details pending...investigation ongoing. Ongoing. Where have I heard that before?

Well heck. Boy, now I've really got something to think about. I have to go now. Make some phone calls. Find out about this murder/suicide. All they can say is that, "The murderer and victim seemed to know each other." Hmmm. Not a lot to go on. But I'll keep you posted, right here at...

CSI: TYPEPAD REFUGEEZ...

A Little Light Relief

2005-12-18T20:06:00.000-02:00

We would like to dedicate this to George Dubya, in honour of his current little constitutional difficulties...

It is a remix of an Alabama3 remix of the gospel classic 'God's Unchanging Hand', featuring American presidents past and present, introduced by Don Rumsfeld.

Speaking for One's Own Self

2005-12-18T18:02:00.000-02:00

The other day I had a conversation with a woman from school. She is incredibly beautiful, charismatic, and intelligent. And, she has such presence. We were discussing men, and I was shocked when she told me that she loses herself completely in relationships. She seemed equally shocked when I told her that this was the case for me as well. (Her shock was likely due to the fact that I dominate the classroom discussions far more than I should.)

The simple fact is that women are valued for their connection to others. When I reflect on the relationships in my life they have all been with men who are very different from me - athletes, entrepreneurs, scuba diving instructors...I shake my head. And, so often I have realized well into the relationships that these men don't really like me - in fact, they don't even really know me - they just really like the image I mirror back to them.

So, when I was looking at this woman who I find absolutely fascinating, I began to wonder why I can't hold myself in such high regard. I don't want to apologize anymore for not liking predictable humour; or for refusing to schedule my time around another because all the other girlfriends do it; or for being sensitive...because that is just who I am. I have made a career out of pleasing others, and now I want others to please me.

Someone remarked recently that, in my writing, I seem to be fighting something within myself. In fact, I am fighting for myself. I am not sure this is something most males can understand...Although, maybe. As a man, think how often your emotions, other than anger, are minimized and unwelcomed. As a woman, think how often your opinions and rationales are discounted. What I am saying might seem strange...but, it is something that only becomes apparent when we attempt to step outside the usual ways of being.

These words from bell hooks, in Talking Back, resonate with me:

To speak as an act of resistance is quite different than ordinary talk, or the personal confession that has no relation to coming into political awareness, to developing critical consciousness…it is easy for the marginal voice striving for a hearing to allow what is said to be overdetermined by the needs of the majority group who appears to be listening, to be tuned in. It becomes ways to speak about what that group wants to hear, to describe and define experience in a language compatible with existing images and ways of knowing, constructed within social frameworks that reinforce domination (hooks 1989, p. 14)

So, for me, I am genuinely trying to find words, and a way of being, that is not determined by the gaze of another. While almost painfully simple, I am just trying to speak for my own self.

Via Marginal Notes

Agitprop's Dear Leader Death Watch

2005-12-18T14:18:00.000-02:00

And Now, The Moment You've All Been Waiting For ...

The President, Vice President, and all civil officers of the United States shall be removed from office on impeachment for, and conviction of, treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors. U.S. Constitution, Art. II, Sec. 4.

The Dear Leader has admitted on national television that he broke the law. If you want to eavesdrop on conversations originating or ending in the U.S., you have to run it by the FISA court, which has denied exactly five requests since its creation in 1978. You can even start listening in and notify the court within 72 hours.

But did the Dear Leader bother? Nope. If politicians from both parties have any guts, we might not have to wait for Bush to get an extramarital blowjob to send him back to Crawford. Or to prison (oh please oh please). And there will be hearings.

tags: dear leader death watch war on terror impeach bush george bush

UK Politics, Life the Universe and Everything...

2005-12-18T08:56:00.000-02:00

Hi Folks,
Blogenfreude asked the question that has been griping British politics on Blairwatch yesterday...

Maybe you Brits can edumacate us Amurricans a bit re: your politics. I have noted with interest that your governments periodically come crashing down. We, alas, are stuck with the Dear Leader until January of 2009 unless he can be impeached because someone other than his wife gives him a blowjob.

Here are the questions: Is there any serious challenger to Bliar within his own party? Is there something the politicians (maybe even the people) could do to send The Poodle to the dog pound? I assume that most of the populace wants Blair-style initiatives save the ones that have to do with Operation Enduring War™ and your dwindling freedoms, but I don't know...

I have had a stab at answering, but it turned into more of a stream of conciousness than a post...
The comments are proving more informative than my ramblings.

Hope you all get home safely soon...

Eastern Philosophical Foundations of Defeatism

2005-12-17T21:31:00.000-02:00

Well, the defeatists! still looks like crap on Typepad. But we don't really care, because after all, we are defeatists! I wrote the following piece at our place on Typepad but I'm also cross-posting it here to give you all a short primer on defeatism. Enjoy.

. . .

Although Eastern Philosophy is Holier Than Mao's area of expertise, I'd like to take a brief look at the philosophical underpinnings of the defeatist ethos. There are definite Taoist and well as Buddhist parallels to the defeatist way of life.

The following excerpt comes from Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh and is titled "Hope as an Obstacle":

Hope is important, because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today. But that is the most that hope can do for us—to make some hardship lighter. When I think deeply about the nature of hope in the future, we do not focus our energies and capabilities on the present moment. We use hope to believe something better will happen in the future, that we will arrive at peace, or the Kingdom of God. Hope becomes a kind of obstacle. If you can refrain from hoping, you can bring yourself entirely into the present moment and discover the joy that is already here.

In other words, only by losing all hope is one able to experience true freedom. Hope is an illusion, even a prison, that prevents us from experiencing real freedom today.

Then there's the concept of delayed gratification which keeps us waiting and waiting for our "savior" which never arrives. The thought of achieving pleasure in the future may keep us moving forward, but we never actually reach that destination.

Enjoy life today, not tomorrow.

Hello from Canada

2005-12-17T19:07:00.000-02:00

What's new up here? Not much...snow...snow...and, we had our leadership debates last night for our upcoming election. Our FOUR main political parties discussed you guys (yep, the States) for a bit. Some like you, some don't. We are pissed off about softwood lumber.

What else? They also discussed whether we should legalize crack..We have already legalized marijuana and now we're working our way up the totem pole. The Liberals also want to ban all handguns.

I have papers to write today, but will be popping in to the refugee camp for company. We should have an online discussion. Lets vote on topics:

1) plastic surgery
2) gay marriage
3) legalizing crack
4) Rampaging Canadian Conservatives - (I'd be happy to provide links to blogs)
5) The US takeover of Canada
6) The War on Christmas
7) Erectile Dysfunction
8) The Sounds of Music and other false realities
9) Big Pharmaceuticals
10)

You guys choose the other options.

P.S. We aren't really planning to legalize crack

I Think I'm Back (Maybe)

2005-12-17T17:45:00.000-02:00

Well - now I can finally find me (I won't go into the entire metaphysical aspects of that statement) - though it seems others cannot. Typepad may have eased its head partially out of its ass, but there are still people having trouble. And Donna isn't the only one to tell me all they get is an error message while trying to find my blog. What's this - 38 hours and counting?

So I guess I get to have more intimate email exchanges with Carla - where she can assume I've never seen a computer before in my life and once again suggest I re-boot. All I have to say about that is, honey - I had an Apple II that I brought back stateside from Japan in '86, and my hubby was building his own whirligigs way back in the late 70's. I think we know from basic maintenance and operation 101, thank you. And I may not be able to code with my hubby's panache and ability, but I do know how to find the power button - and this machine isn't an old tube-driven TV set. Whacking it soundly a couple ‘a times does NOT produce a better picture!

Anyway – so folks – what are we gonna do about this new blog we’ve birthed? I say keep it up and thriving. Of course, it doesn’t seem to have any direction in life yet – but what infant does? How’s about we let it grow, and see what kind of kid we created? Ya never know – it might just turn out to be something grand. Lord knows there’s enough of us to provide pithy and interesting content; and such an eclectic and opinionated group as well! Think how yummy the cinnamon buns could be! (Sorry – hubby’s been on a baking kick lately).

So whaddya say? Obviously we all still need the outlet as Typepad continues to flail about, looking way too much like Bush’s cabinet for my taste. But after – and I am assuming an after there will most definitely be – perhaps we can all put in a good movie and decide to stay a while. Dunno - Just a thought.

The Silence of the Blogs

2005-12-17T16:10:00.000-02:00

Fun and games at Technorati.
And I've decided on a nickname for our little home-away-from-home:

Typepad Refugees: The Superdome of Blogs

it must be because of the war on Christmas!

2005-12-17T15:17:00.000-02:00

Well, despite being royally pissed off at TypePad like everyone else, I must admit it's been kinda fun getting together with other folks and making new blogs. I am one of the lucky ones whose TypePad blog appears to be for the most part restored. This will not, however, stop me from blabbing all over the damn place, for now I am experiencing a crisis of a different nature, a crisis that could involve the wailing of a six year old, for I cannot find the Christmas tree stand.

We live in a very old house and let me tell you that poking around in its nether regions is no fun. It's dark and smelly and full of things that I am officially not bothered by but still don't want to encounter unexpectedly. I have looked in every possible nook and cranny, and while I have found several boxes of old toys, a broken printer, a camp stove, and the kidlet's toddler bed, the tree stand ain't nowhere. I know this problem seems easily solved. We can venture to the store and purchase a new tree stand for all of six dollars. But I just know that the minute I do that, the old stand will magically appear in some obvious place. And then next year I'll have two stands to lose.

I'm Still Screwed!!!

2005-12-17T15:15:00.000-02:00

Well, boys and girls - Typepad still well and truly has me by the short hairs. New content on my weblog is only visible if the viewer (either from within the belly of the beast, or entering the cave alone and unaided) clicks on my title bar. If you just drop on by to say howdy - all most of you will be able to see are my posts from December 12th - the arbitrary date Typepad picked as most worthy, I guess. 1/2 dozen 'fix the fucking thing' tickets later, and I am being told everything is just fine - no problem here! Just re-publish your files, clear your cache, crush all your cookies into infinitesimally tiny motes of dust and it will all go away. (Of course you must stand on one foot and cackle like a chicken while doing it - without that, everything else is moot).

Well, it hasn't gone away - and I have done everything up to and including complicated voodoo rituals (it helps having a hubby who does this sort of thing for a living - computers, that is; not voodoo). So - two things. First, I hope you all don't mind if I hang out here and party a while. Second, could you please stop by my blog and tell me what you see? (The Fat Lady Sings) Typepad is not helping one little bit - they keep telling me everything on their end's fine - it's me who's screwed up. (They're coming to take me away, ho ho, ha, ha, he, he). Well - hubby and I are already hunting for a new home - which is incredibly stressful and a bitch to boot! I mean, I was putting finishing touches on a more individualistic design, creating an alternate page for my fiction work, and trying to smooth out my first podcast - all through Typepad, the nasty little trolls!

So you will excuse me for saying I'M PISSED!!!!!! And if you will also excuse the expression - Carla at Typepad can kiss my ever lovin' ass!

Happy Belated Birthday

2005-12-17T14:27:00.000-02:00

Agitprop was ready ... all set to go. Yesterday Beethoven would have been 235 years old. He would have looked it too. Photo? Check. Dates? Check (1770-1827). Typepad? Feh. We were cast into the wilderness.

So happy birthday big guy. And Typepad ... this is going to require more than a free month.

tags: ludwig van beethoven six apart typepad photo by blogenfreude (cross-posted at Agitprop)

A New Dialogue Begins from a Jail Cell

2005-12-17T02:17:00.000-02:00

Jim Wallis and over a hundred other religious activists were arrested today for blocking a door to a federal office building.

115 religious leaders were arrested in front of the Cannon House Office Building while kneeling in prayer to protest the immoral budget and tax agenda which slashes spending on the poor to finance tax breaks for the rich. Led by Jim Wallis of Call to Renewal, national faith leaders, clergy and faith-based providers of services to the poor held a press conference.

Following the press conference the leaders kneeled in prayer blocking the entrance to the Cannon House Office Building on the corner of Independence and New Jersey Avenues. The Capitol Police began arresting the participants after warning them three times to move from the entrance. The participants were escorted one at a time into one of two Metro buses transported to a Capitol Police warehouse facility at 67 K St., SW (South Capitol and K Street) where they are being processed at this hour. Also at this hour a vigil in support of those who participated in today’s civil disobedience is taking place at the same location. The first release of those arrested is expected around 5:00PM EST.

Iddybud has the story and some (predictable and detestible) reaction from the right. Testimonies from those arrested here.

Typepad Lies!!!

2005-12-17T00:32:00.000-02:00

So - I try to post to my blog, and what happens? Not a damn thing, that's what! Oh - but Typepad says everything's A-OK - nothing wrong - everything's fixed!! Send up fireworks everybody!

Liar, liar pants on fire!! They are still hosed - as in FUBAR - gone the way of the Dodo. So, I can't even put up a sign that says 'Sorry - it's broke'. And I sure as hell can't re-post those entries Typepad 'misplaced'. I tried - no go. Oh, and they have also managed to lose all my graphics and photos as well. Isn't that special?

If I could get one of those fruit bats on the phone, I would give them much more than a piece of my mind - I would graphically prove exactly what I learned all those years working on a Navy base!! Blasted, two-faced, bloody liars!!!!

Just Skip Ahead to the Part That's Gonna Piss Me Off

2005-12-17T00:21:00.000-02:00

Typepad still isn't letting me into the Promised Land, although they have let me get a glimpse of it. So I'm setting up a tent in camp.

While I'm back on the outskirts of blogtopia, I want to note the passing of John Spencer, who suffered a heart attack and died earlier today. He made McGarry hands down the most believeable character on that show - during the bad times and this year during the rebound. I'm going to miss him.

Our Theme Song

2005-12-16T22:24:00.000-02:00

Refugee ~ Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

We got somethin' we both know it
We don't talk too much about it
Yeah it ain't no real big secret all the same
Somehow we get around it
Listen it don't really matter to me baby
You believe what you want to believe
You see you don't have to live like a refugee

Somewhere, somehow somebody
Must have kicked you around some
Tell me why you wanna lay there
And revel in your abandon
Listen it don't make no difference to me baby
Everybody's had to fight to be free
You see you don't have to live like a refugee
Now baby you don't have to live like a refugee

Baby we ain't the first
I'm sure a lot of other lover's been burned
Right now this seems real to you
But it's one of those things
You gotta feel to be true

Somewhere, somehow somebody
Must have kicked you around some
Who knows, maybe you were kidnapped
Tied up, taken away and held for ransom
It don't really matter to me
Everybody's had to fight to be free
You see you don't have to live like a refugee
I said you don't have to live like a refugee

bittersweet

2005-12-16T22:07:00.000-02:00

the defeatists! is back up.. more or less. .. i can probably post there if wanted to, but it's kind of sad leaving the refugee camp. what do we do with this place now that we have to go home again?

will you sign my yearbook? don't forget to write. we'll be best friends forerever and talk on the phone every night.

i promise.

The light at the end of the tunnel ...

2005-12-16T21:34:00.000-02:00

Look! Images back by Monday! Mirabile dictu!

Friday Features

2005-12-16T21:17:00.000-02:00

Ice Storm!!!! It’s a veritable winter wonderland – not at all usual this far south. Now, when I lived in North Carolina, we used to get these all the time – trees sheathed in opaque ice; suspended rivulets dripping down like some kind of mutant Spanish moss. So ethereal and beautiful – rather eerie; everything frozen and twisted into fantastical shapes from the wind. Its like I went through the wardrobe and found Narnia still encased in perpetual winter. No Mr. Tumnus, though – just dogs that are fascinated by the phenomenon and not at all sure what to do about it. Crunching ice under puppy toes has become a very popular game. Smokey has lived with snow, so this is old hat to him. Ginger, on the other hand keeps trying to run away from the sound her tippy-toes make as she scoots along. It’s quite amusing, really. Girlfriend never wants to come in – too many things to sample - evidently the pine trees taste really good frozen.

So – this week I have several more wonderful blogs for you to have a gander at. The first one is sheer puppy love. At least it features a puppy that I love the hell out of. Cairo’s Place is truly a boxer’s blog. Its author you will all probably recognize as the former proprietor of AGITPROP, a wonderful blog now capably and intelligently managed by Blogenfreude (who invited me here - a very kind man). Well, to liven up his retirement, the Commandante got himself a wonderful, beautiful, destructive little angel named Cairo – and presto-chango, Cairo got her own blog. You can decide who made out better in the exchange; I say both found perfection – with each other, of course; as all happy pet owners already know. Cairo’s Place faithfully chronicles her exploits – from beanie-baby infancy, to super sweet destructo puppy – everything’s there – all digitally arrayed for your viewing pleasure. So, if you want that ‘Ohhhh! Ahhhh!’ factor gazing out at you from a pair of limpid brown eyes, this blogs for you.

And then there’s Night Bird’s Fountain – pure poetry in more ways than one. I am enamored of Lizzy’s light touch, and facile mind. She writes tiny dreams that float the reader into a different world. She is also the beating heart that gives Night Bird its wings. Eli informs – just the facts, maam – but he always has them, and quite succinctly lays everything out. Cyn shouts – working visually, making sure all hear her crystal clear voice. Mack unveils; he’s a father, steadfast - always standing up for his beliefs. Barbi quotes the truth-sayers, so we don’t forget – “An unconstitutional law, in legal contemplation, is as inoperative as if it had never passed.” Nygreg outlines his truth, reasonably, calmly; explaining so you cannot help but see. Chuck – he punches through, visceral work – your attention is demanded and held. Dorsano – well, Dorsano’s métier is humor – and it’s definitely on display here. As for Amanda, or Beantown Bob – I haven’t run into them yet – but I am sure their contributions are as interesting and informed as their colleagues.

Finally, I would like to introduce you to Brother Kenya’s Paradigm – a serious blog written by someone whose humor borders on self-deprecating. The author is Kevin Brennan, and he says he’s just a guy in a hair shirt trying to make his way through life without filing an insurance claim. Well, good luck with that; but I wouldn’t count my chickens if I were you. Amusing – yes; yet he tackles serious subjects head on, and without beating about the bush (pun intended). You really should read his post on the death of Stanley ‘Tookie’ Williams. No one gets off easy – not Williams, not the Governor and certainly not society at large. Me? I especially loved his piece memorializing the brilliant and ethical Eugene McCarthy, not to mention his memory riff on the passing of John Lennon and how it marked the end of that era. So – this blog is part remembrance, part opinion and wholly Kevin Brennan. If you visit, I promise you will stay.

And another week rushes to a close with Christmas looming on the horizon. Well – at least it’s finally beginning to look like Christmas – though I must say I really do miss having snow. Hubby has been home sick, and I’m afraid he’s given whatever the hell he has to me. Lord – please let me get through the holidays with my sanity intact! I hope that for you as well. So - till next time -----

The Fat Lady Sings

As is obvious – Typepad proceeded to lose everyone's blog last night. God alone knows if they will ever find it again - these guys are so far off they couldn't hit a bull in the behind with a bass fiddle in broad daylight! And if, by some miracle of creation, they do find their and everybody else's ass, how much of it will still exist? I prefer the British take on tragedy - kick your tushie into gear and get on with it. So, that’s why this post is late, and why I am considering moving to better digs. So, my good friends – tell me – do you like your blog carrier; and if so – what the hell is it?

Ka-POW

2005-12-16T20:51:00.000-02:00

Check out this rant by darling Spudsy. Yowza!

(WARNING: Your monitor may explode.)

And the Kool Ade Award for 2005 Goes To ...

2005-12-16T20:45:00.000-02:00

Ben Stein: "Bush is going to down in history as one of the great peacemakers."

Twelve Steps

2005-12-16T20:38:00.000-02:00

"Hi. My name is Lance, and I'm a blogaholic."

"Hi, Lance!"

This is kind of sad, isn't it? None of us can bear to be without our blogs for even one whole day?

Anybody have any idea what's going on with Typepad? I mean, really going on?

"During routine maintenance of our network and storage systems last night, we experienced an issue with our primary disk system where data from published blogs are stored."

I think I saw that episode.

"Hey, Moe! Look!"

"What's that?"

"I don't know. I just pulled on it and it came off."

"C'm'ere, porcupine."

"Oh oh oh oh!"

For a year I loved Typepad. Never a problem. Never a lost post. Oh, how fun it was, laughing at the kids on blogger. But since fall...

Seems like once a week Typepad's had some kind of nervous breakdown. You'd think that at the point where they were offering rebates to us for blogging time lost, somebody there would have said, "Hey, I got an idea! What if we just went back to doing what we were doing before we changed things and introduced all those bugs?"

There's probably a good explanation for why they don't do that. My cynical soul believes that it's because what changed was somebody in management. A new grand poohbah appeared on the scene and determined to flex his or her ego and forever stamp Typepad as their own ordered fixed what was not broken, thereby, of course, invoking Murphy's Law.

Now, although it's become clear that the new grand poohbah didn't know spit from shinola, nobody dares suggest that the decision was wrong.

Of course, the grand poohbah now admits that the changes the poohbah instituted didn't go as planned---the new code was welcomed, it just wasn't a peaceful welcome---that the initial Intel was faulty, but Typepad must not give in to the defeatists. Stay the course! Anybody who criticizes Typepad is aiding Blogger.

Or am I confusing Typepad with some other set of screw ups?

A TypePad Carol

2005-12-16T20:34:00.000-02:00

Dashing through the snow
On a one woman public blog
O'er the Bushes we go
Snarking all the way
Bells on criminals ring
Making readers delight
What fun it is to laugh and sing
A blogging song tonight

Oh, TypePad, TypePad
Sucks all the way
Oh, what fun it is to write
In an anti-Typepad way
TypePad, TypePad
Sucks all the way
Oh, what fun it is to write
In anti-Tyepad way

A day or two agoI
thought I'd post a picture
And soon TypePad is not right
Was posted on my site
The doggie was at the park
He had played with a tot
He did not even bark
And then Liam was hot

Oh, TypePad, TypePad
Sucks all the way
Oh, what fun it is to write
In an anti-Typepad way
TypePad, TypePad
Sucks all the way
Oh, what fun it is to write
In anti-Tyepad way
Oh, TypePad, TypePad
Sucks all the way
Oh, what fun it is to write
In an anti-Typepad way

TypePad, TypePad
Sucks all the way
Oh, what fun it is to write
In anti-Tyepad way

This is infuriating! (But it's sooo nice not to be all alone:))

2005-12-16T20:29:00.000-02:00

First I want to thank you all for the invite - it has been a dreadful day - sick hubby, ice storm, dogs with cabin fever chasing cats all over hell and gone while destroying the house in the process - and the piece de resistance - Typepad now telling me this might take days to fix. So this is truly a bright spot. Bless you all!! Now, I am still hoping the situation gets taken care of sooner than anticipated, but if it gets much later, I will definitely post my Friday Features article here - and then move it (providing there is a place to move it to, of course!)

Anyway - I'm open for suggestions on where to go after the dust settles. Typepad has been nothing but trouble for ages – and I have had it with this shit. So, who do you all think is reliable? Hell – I’d post on the moon if the servers held!

take a moment and revel in the ignorance of Jeff Goldstein and his blind followers

2005-12-16T20:16:00.000-02:00

the folks at protein wisdom, both the walking-typing ego that is Jeff Goldstein and his followers, are the funniest bunch of folks that ever took themselves seriously.

where comments, honest, sometimes begin as stupidly as this:

Marc --
I’m not calling you soft on Islamofascism...

and anyone who opposes government intervention in their daily lives is an "efette fucktard".

where "limpwristed" suddenly is not an euphemism for gay and the 5th column - that is anyone to the left of rick santorum - is gonna really regret this or that the day the "next attacks" come (i swear, someone in their comments section says this every damn day, it's hilarious).

have a little fun. go, read, fuck with them.

see if you can drive them into a rage like i did.

they love war, torture, and spying, only slightly less than jeff g. is in love with hisself.

you'll thank me for it

MORE ONGOING BS

2005-12-16T19:49:00.000-02:00

MORE ONGOING BS Bush needs to find a new word, because if he keeps using the word ongoing, he will face more ongoing investigations of himself. The New York Times story on domestic NSA spying has come in out of the cold and it’s getting hot for Bush. Democrats and Republicans both seem more troubled than Bush himself about NSA spying on the domestic front. Bush said in an interview that “we do not discuss ongoing intelligence operations to protect the country. And the reason why is that there’s an enemy that lurks, that would like to know exactly what we’re trying to do to stop them.
“I will make this point,” he continued. “That whatever I do to protect the American people — and I have an obligation to do so — that we will uphold the law, and decisions made are made understanding we have an obligation to protect the civil liberties of the American people.”
WHAT BUSH CONSIDERS upholding the law will now be subjected to more ongoing scrutiny. More on this here.

The Heretik

degraded

2005-12-16T19:39:00.000-02:00

degraded
Originally uploaded by elserracho.

this thing looks suspiciously like the terror-level sign. perhaps they are in cahoots.

What A Shitty Day

2005-12-16T19:33:00.000-02:00

Typepad craps out. My flight from LGA to BTV has been delayed, cancelled, reinstated, delayed...who knows if I'll get home tonight. At least there have been no NYTimes reports about my signing executive orders to spy on Americans.

ntodd

Filibustered!

2005-12-16T19:17:00.000-02:00

The Senate fell seven votes short of ending a filibuster directed at blocking legislation renewing the Patriot Act. Think Progress has more, including video of Russ Feingold, infamously the lone no-vote against the original Patriot Act, who swore to filibuster its renewal this time.

No Joke

2005-12-16T18:49:00.000-02:00

THE PATRIOT ACT IS DEAD ~~for now~~. Long live the Patriot Act. The abomination against civil liberties known as the Patriot Act, at least its sixteen most odious provisions, will not be renewed. But all the investigations that have already begun under the act and those begun before the act expires will continue on. And be able to use all the means of the Patriot Act before it expired. Look for lots of investigations to start up soon. Or don’t look. Because you aren’t supposed to know. You shouldn’t care. Unless you have done something wrong. No joke. Oy.

UPSIDES The provisions set to expire.

DOWNSIDES Some "patriots" think the Fourth Amendment is just a technicality. Or more precisely, what the NSA did is "technically illegal," but so what?

The Heretik

The Bluest Christmas Evah

2005-12-16T18:46:00.000-02:00

AKA "The Fire"

[This was originally posted at my site, but got eaten by the Typepad Gods (FUCKERS) sometime in the middle of the night.]

As promised...

So, it's 1988. I'm newishly out-of-school, newly escaped from Ziff, slinging $12 classified ads at the local alt-weekly. Although I have the entire week off between Christmas and New Year's, I decide to stay in Bland-Diego instead of going home for the holidays. Besides, you gotta sling a whole lotta of $12 classifieds to be able to afford to both put enough gas in your orange '67 "Cuomo 88" personalized license-plated VW Squareback to make the trip up the 99 and get an $80 spiral perm at Ralph's Hair Place in Hillcrest. I don't have enough dough for both. Naturally, I opt for the perm ... which also means that I'll have the extra coin I won't have to invest in presents for family, to invest in a Christmas Fete for my friends.

***

It's Christmas Eve and I'm sitting in "the chair" at Ralph's. For five hours. Unless you've had 2.5-3 feet of hair wound around hundreds of 3-foot long curling tubes, you have no concept of the twin anguishes of pain and tedium I'm experiencing. The Patchouli/clove-cigarette-soaked-Siouxsie-clone who's doing my "do" tries to make the situation more palatable by choosing the shop's tunes. Hmmmm. And I'm thinking, How many times can one hear How Soon Is Now? without committing mass murder with a pair of pink razor shears?

***

It's Christmas Day and my hair is cool. [Okay ...cool for '88.] Well worth the sacrifice. My roommate, Fernando, leaves the house early because he's going to spend the morning with his momma and his boyfriend. Also, cool. Because now I won't have to listen to the original Broadway cast of Into the Woods for the next several hours. So, I get to prepping the Christmas Fete for my friends. We're having turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce ...you know, all the accoutrements. And I've got most of the day to myself to get the job done.

So, I'm peeling, chopping, buttering, sautéing, and stuffing. I preheat the oven --an old Wedgwood. 20 minutes go by and I reckon the oven is preheated enough that I can shove the bird in. I open the oven door and notice it's cold. The pilot light must have gone out and now I need to re-light it and wait another 20 minutes for the preheating procedure. As you do, I grab the box of matches we keep on top of the stove for such circumstances, strike the match and ....

FUCKING KABOOM!

I'm standing in my kitchen. In shock. I smell something strange. It smells like a really hot blow-dryer in here. I look down at my bare forearms and notice they're red. My face feels tingly. But really, I'm more obsessed with this strange smell. Okay, the smell is getting worse. Then, in a flash, I realize my hair is on fire. I run into the bathroom, jump in the shower --clothes and all-- and blast myself with cold water. Ah, that's better.

Okay. I'm thinking, What just happened? I think I'm in shock. I think the oven just exploded. I think I'm burned. And maybe, pretty badly.

I'm sitting on my bed, dripping wet, and thinking, I've got to go to the hospital. What should I wear? I linger there, thinking about what I should wear to the hospital, for 10-15 minutes. It finally dons on me that it's more important for me to get to the hospital ASAP than for me to sit around thinking about what I'm going to wear.

How will I get to the hospital?

Then, the pain. Un-fucking-imaginable pain. I start to cry. And now it hurts worse. Because salty tears and open wounds on your face don't mix. Okay, I've got to get to the hospital right fucking now.

I run back into the bathroom to grab a wet towel to hold over my face while I drive myself three blocks to the hospital. And for the first time, I notice myself in the mirror. My eyebrows are gone. My eyelashes are gone. All but four or so of my new curly locks are gone. And all four of the surviving locks are on the left side of my head. My face, chest and arms are lobster-red and starting to blister. Fucking hell.

I run out the front door of my Park Blvd. apartment in dripping wet clothes and a wet towel wrapped around my face, leaving the door wide-open, and head down the street to find the Cuomo-mobile. Where the fuck did I leave that car? I find the car, get to the hospital and am immediately seen by the third rate med student who has to work the emergency room on Christmas Day.

[If you've never been to the emergency room on Christmas Day, count your blessings. The waiting room provides enough fertile material for an entire post all on its own.]

The med student is freaking. Why is he freaking? He gets a full-fledged doctor to examine me. Stat! Full-fledged doctor examines my eyes and throat first, which perplexes me because my eyes and throat don't hurt. Full-fledged doctor wants to give me a tetanus shot. I start to cry. Which hurts like hell. Because tears and open wounds on your face don't mix. But, I suck it up and get the shot. Because I'm afraid of getting some deadly face disease from the dregs of humanity waiting in the emergency waiting room.

The full-fledged doctor also gives me drugs. Boy, these drugs are working fast. He gives me instructions to go with a bottle of extra drugs he gives me. But I'm not listening. Because I'm drugged. And exhausted. And sleepy.

Full-fledged doctor tells me I have to wait in the waiting room until somebody can pick me up. But there's nobody to pick me up. It's Christmas Day. So, I wait around just long enough for full-fledged doctor to forget about me and I head out the door to drive myself the three blocks home.

I manage to get home without further injury, even though I'm drugged, probably because it's Christmas Day and no one else is on the road. Except for the dregs of humanity on their way to the emergency room.

Now I'm home. I drop on the couch, front door still wide-open, and remain there, passed out, until my Christmas Day Fete friends show up for their Fete. They walk through the still wide-open front door, bypass my passed-out carcass on the couch, to find a raw turkey on the floor of the kitchen. They notice the smell of burnt hair. They finally notice my carcass on the couch. They shake me. When I finally open my eyes, the shock I notice on their faces makes me cry. Which hurts like hell. Because salty tears and open wounds on your face don't mix.

We quickly decide to ditch the Christmas Day Fete. And my friend Joe-Jerry says, "Why don't we go to the movies?" Which I'm up for. Because it's dark in the movie theater and no one will see me. In deference to my malady, they ask me to pick the flick. But I don't give a shit at this point.

So we head out the door to the local calendar theatre to see Salaam Bombay! It's a very sad movie about poor orphans, prostitutes and other dregs of humanity living in India. Which sucks. Because salty tears and open wounds on your face don't mix.

We Are A Nation Founded By Terrorists

2005-12-16T18:32:00.000-02:00

Stephen VanDyke explains.

I personally would prefer to dump Starbucks coffee into Los Angeles harbor, but that's another story...